4 Reasons 'Transformers 4' May Prevent a U.S.-Chinese War

#2. He Makes the Chinese Government Heroic (and the American Government Evil)

The bad guys in this movie are American soldiers in a secret Black Ops unit. The president is more or less held hostage by the villainous Kelsey Grammer's wide-ranging evil influence with the CIA. In fact, the president is always kind of useless in this series -- in the first movie, the most we see of President Bush is him asking for Twinkies, and in Transformers 3, Obama allies with the freaking Decepticons (and is too afraid of Kelsey Grammer in Transformers 4 to even meet him in person).

Paramount Pictures
"Thanks, Obama."

But in China, we see the strong, willful defense minister deploy the Chinese military to try to combat a robot rampage (it doesn't actually stop the rampage, because nothing can stop Michael Bay from making robots fight, but at least he did something). That's more decisive action than any non-nefarious American politician has taken in the entire Transformers film series.

Stanley Tucci also mentions, right before the Hong Kong transition, that he's building robot soldiers for the United States in China. If this movie had been made in the 1980s, there would have been some huge plot about the Chinese infecting our Transformer army with some communist virus. But nope! They're selling us an invincible super army, totally straight. Turns out the trusting, kind-hearted Chinese factory bosses just thought they were building cars the whole time, so they've been duped, too.

Paramount Pictures
"They're robots in ... hiding!"

The implication is clear: The U.S. government is not to be trusted, but China is always reliable.

#1. He Swaps Out Actresses in the Middle of the Movie

In the movie, Michael Bay has Stanley Tucci fall in love with famed Chinese actress Li Bingbing, which doesn't seem immediately strange until you realize that Tucci spends the entire first half of the movie with a completely different, blazingly Caucasian love interest.

Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Seen here.

But once the movie jumps from America to Hong Kong, the Tucc drops his pasty squeeze for a famous Chinese celebrity. It's just as sudden as it sounds -- we never even see the white girl again.

Paramount Pictures
"So Optimus hooked me up with these pills ..."

America made it clear that they didn't want Stanley Tucci's army of terrifying space robots. And if Stanley Tucci's toxic robot boner isn't wanted in America, he knows exactly where to go so it will be appreciated -- China, the land of understanding opportunity. It's a metaphor for Michael Bay's journey of global unity; he got his start with easily manipulated Americans, and now he wants to go where the real action is. And we should all thank him for it: His ballad of international seduction (and robots whose every step sounds like scrapyards exploding) will keep the peace between the two biggest superpowers in the world for decades to come.

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