Great works of genius require nothing more than creativity and having absolutely nothing better to do with your time. So what do creative people do when several feet of snow has made all other hobbies impossible? They create awesome things like ...
#4. Backyard Luge Tracks
Every neighborhood has the one parent who's way too into hurling padded children off homemade jumps like it's the carnie Winter Olympics. Kids know this person as the "awesome parent" -- because as we're all aware, sledding is only as fun as the level of death taunting it invokes. So, it was only a matter of time until one such man spent hours making his very own Olympic-style ice luge track:
That's the work of an industrious father in Minnesota, and we don't know what's spitting in God's face more: that it was constructed so that a misfire would fling the child into the street, or that they've managed to create the threat of a high-velocity injury in such a small amount of space. Just imagine what they could do with a larger yard.
Actually, you don't have to imagine it. Here's what another Minnesota family did:
Somebody fly us up there, damn it!
#3. Snow Sculptures the Size of Houses
We assumed that all pubescent snow-sculpting skills could be classified on a scale from "snow dick" to "snowman with snow dick," so we're not sure what to think about this:
"Snow goes on the lawn, we go on the lawn. Shark's on the lawn. Our shark."
That's not any kind of visual bullshitting -- that's a 10-foot-tall snow shark built in 95 hours by three teenage brothers who apparently haven't discovered porn just yet.