It doesn't matter if you create the most effective ad in the world: If no one sees it, your product still won't sell shit. On the other hand, a mediocre ad seen by millions could probably move a few cans of deodorant, anyway.
Somewhere in between we have the ads that are nothing special by themselves, but that almost become provocative works of art when accidentally placed in horribly inappropriate settings, like ...
#4. Diana Movie Poster Hung near the Tunnel Where Princess Diana Died
You've probably noticed a relatively recent trend in movie ads where they basically turn buildings or public places into giant billboards in a desperate attempt to get your attention. Well, the producers of the new Princess Diana biopic may have taken the whole urban advertisement concept a little too far by placing a movie poster ... right next to the tunnel in Paris where Diana died.
Like an asshole breaking wind.
Notice that torch sculpture in the background? That's the Flame of Liberty, the unofficial memorial for the princess near the Pont de l'Alma tunnel where her fatal car accident happened in 1997. The large 4-foot by 6-foot poster was hurriedly taken down after the movie suffered an onslaught of outrage from upset fans, friends of the princess, and, most of all, film critics. Apparently they all failed to notice the importance of getting to see Sayid from Lost making out with Lady Di.
#3. Australian Police Put Recruitment Ads on Vicious Biker Website
Apparently mistaking Mad Max for a factual documentary and under the impression that regular police officers simply aren't enough to tame the wild post-apocalyptic landscape, the Australian police recently placed the following recruitment ad on the official website of the self-proclaimed baddest biker gang in the world:
The Mongols Nation Motorcycle Club, by the way, is known worldwide for having links to drug dealing, money laundering, firearm offenses, and recently taking over Australia's biker gangs. So what the hell, has someone in the Aussie government been binge-watching Sons of Anarchy? They do know not all bikers are as adorable as Charlie Hunnam, right? Actually, they're blaming the error on Google, who was in charge of placing the ads. The recruitment ad has since been removed, but not before piquing the curiosity of 200 potential biker thug applicants.
#2. Strip Club Billboard Erected on Top of Baptist Church
"Upscale gentleman's club" Roadhouse NYC paid for a billboard in Queens a few weeks back, meaning to hopefully draw in a few more lonely men looking to smother their sorrows in the vast hollowness of a stripper's embrace. What better place to advertise the divine comfort of a lap dance, then, than literally right over the local New Hope Baptist Church?
Clare Trapasso/New York Daily News
Roadhouse NYC, for those of you who got hard during The Grudge.
After the unfortunate building selection was pointed out, the billboard was promptly taken down, and the manager apologized, claiming he didn't know he was raising his business on top of Jesus' house. The reverend still wasn't too pleased, though, stating that "I'm [trying] to get people out of that lifestyle -- not indulge in it." In unrelated news, someone broke into the strip club and replaced all the poles with crosses.
#1. TV Ad Has a Rabbit "Entering" Lead Star's Crotch
One of the most vile recent inventions in TV marketing are those ads that pop up in the middle of shows and make it look like there are tiny people standing in front of the characters. Two weeks ago, one of those things finally backfired hilariously on ABC when, during an episode of Once Upon a Time, a guy in a rabbit costume jumped in front of Snow White's crotch ...
"Tiny, anthropomorphized rabbits are the most generous lovers."
drew a hole in her, you know, pants ...
This counts as Once Upon a Time and Portal rule 34.
and then vanished into the aperture, leaving behind the logo of the show's new Alice in Wonderland-themed spinoff, hence the white rabbit.
She's lucky it wasn't Johnny Depp in that huge hat.
Her dialogue during the ad, by the way? "You're searching for something powerful enough to vanquish the queen." Turns out the power was inside you all along, Snow White, if you know what we mean. (We're talking about your vagina.)
Check out XJ's $0.99 science-fiction/fantasy novella on Amazon here, with part 2 out now, and part 3 coming out later this month. Or leave a review and get a free copy! Poke him on Twitter, too.