If Hollywood Taught Science Class

who the f**k is Kenny Loggins and why should I care about him?

11/14/2009 03:05:39 PM

greeenhaze

7,3,1

11/08/2009 06:37:03 AM

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11/02/2009 07:23:46 AM

items2001

this was definitely one of my favorite photoshop competitions. a good topic made for some really good pix.

10/07/2009 10:04:57 AM

pcelvcitrs

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10/05/2009 04:57:41 PM

kaly76hummer

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10/05/2009 04:57:35 PM

kaly76hummer

This contest was hilarious... but #11 was possibly one of the funniest photoshops I've seen on this site. The hacking ones were all really hilarious too. This contest was great! And how do you not understand #5? I mean it wasn't laugh out loud hilarious, but I got a good chuckle. And it seems pretty self explanatory.

10/03/2009 09:28:55 AM

FloridaGirl

#14 is 100% win

09/19/2009 04:26:24 AM

HJPotta

Man #11 was great!

09/19/2009 12:51:33 AM

mankabus

This was one of the best entires. All were solid, though the bottom half were actually better than the top half.

09/05/2009 01:06:48 PM

KELGO

#1 wins on Kenny Loggins Factor alone.

09/04/2009 07:05:29 AM

jparkeriv

11 and 9 were magnificent.

09/04/2009 04:27:15 AM

Bunnybeater

#1 deserved it. Good job. The speed of lasers vs speed of light bit was also hilarious.

09/03/2009 11:43:17 PM

Actionopoly

Only really good ones were #10 and #2. It is a difficult topic though.

09/03/2009 07:48:04 PM

RevertSpecially

who cares

09/03/2009 05:32:47 PM

kaly76hummer

who cares

09/03/2009 05:32:32 PM

kaly76hummer

WTF, no ATF button? Now I will never get my son back.

09/03/2009 05:20:55 PM

Fuckaccounts

#8 is so hilarious that I started crying from laughter.

09/03/2009 03:54:08 PM

alexxarian

#4 and #8 are total hilarity

09/03/2009 03:36:29 PM

ladypinktoe17

Enderdusk, the bald pale guy was Uncle Fester(played by Christopher Lloyd) from the Addams family movies

09/03/2009 03:34:06 PM

ArseneLupin

#11. was the best.

09/03/2009 03:16:40 PM

Shelly13

Something like three quarters of these were good, but #1 was not one of those. The best were probably #8 (for the "Blackmail" and "Blackmail Gr" keys) or #14 (because it's so much truer than any of the others, and I always thought I was the only person who'd noticed).

09/03/2009 10:28:50 AM

Pedgerow

goddamn it number 5. why is there always one that not only isn't funny but requires explanation? is that like, part of the rules for the contest? "Cracked.com By laws: Where in, in all contest regarding or involved with readers of Cracked.com at least one entry shall be neither funny nor interesting and will require no less than 3 commenters explaining the implied "joke"."

09/03/2009 08:56:34 AM

beatcamel

Loved #13. I would totally buy that book. Same with #9. Don't really get #18, though.

09/03/2009 08:33:36 AM

Jackdaw

Good grief. Sorry for the multiple posts. Stupid back button.

09/03/2009 08:16:07 AM

pignuts

I think #6 was the cleverest and one of the funniest. Ever notice how every car crash in a movie or TV show results in a fiery explosion? Sometimes even a fender bender will trigger the immolation of a car and its contents. #6 explains why. A "working" car will include several sticks of dynamite when it leaves the factory.

09/03/2009 08:15:27 AM

pignuts

I think #6 was the cleverest and one of the funniest. Ever notice how every car crash in a movie or TV show results in a fiery explosion? Sometimes even a fender bender will trigger the immolation of a car and its contents. #6 explains why. A "working" car will include several sticks of dynamite when it leaves the factory.

09/03/2009 08:00:52 AM

pignuts

I think #6 was the cleverest and one of the funniest. Ever notice how every car crash in a movie or TV show results in a fiery explosion? Sometimes even a fender bender will trigger the immolation of a car and its contents. #6 explains why. A "working" car will include several sticks of dynamite when it leaves the factory.

09/03/2009 08:00:10 AM

pignuts

How did #7 get higher than #9? It's the same just a lot less of it.

09/03/2009 07:01:02 AM

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09/03/2009 05:20:56 AM

ned123

http://www.ihateyounatalie.com/?id=1832944

09/03/2009 04:35:35 AM

Canto394

#19 is awesome for 'orchestral music.' The lowest-ranked one always seems to deserve a much higher spot. --- Free football gambling picks and expert mock drafts: http://sourcedmock.blogspot.com/

09/03/2009 12:37:25 AM

XavierCromartie

Hysterical! By the way number #19 is most interesting for featuring four people that are all the same person...neat trick

09/03/2009 12:16:29 AM

Ceveron

And by 35, I mean #5. See, what a piece of s**t.

09/02/2009 11:47:11 PM

dagur

Dude, 35 totally sucks balls! That dagur guy is a piece of s**t.

09/02/2009 11:46:41 PM

dagur

The guy in #2 is from the movie Powder though also kinda looks like the Observer from the show Fringe.

09/02/2009 10:09:25 PM

enderdusk

#9 was awesome, who is the bald pale guy in #2

09/02/2009 09:26:26 PM

theropissed

Number 5 sucked balls. Why was number six not higher up?

09/02/2009 08:34:50 PM

Shancey

mister.write, it's called a bra. She's wearing one

09/02/2009 08:34:06 PM

Shancey

To me 19 was the funniest its true too many dramatic orchestra music

09/02/2009 08:29:34 PM

vandogg

8 was pretty great. Also 7 and 13!

09/02/2009 08:26:02 PM

cello

I already thought 15 was funny, then I noticed what was on the back of the girl with her hand raised.

09/02/2009 08:07:43 PM

mister.write

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09/02/2009 07:07:53 PM

cherry668

The /cracked Judges aren't very good. Usually, when looking through these lists, I find unfunny ones in the front that should have been in place of the funny ones in the back. It's all just random to me

09/02/2009 07:05:41 PM

veyn

Yet again, #1 is "meh"

09/02/2009 06:55:18 PM

thejackyl

Those were great. #2 was f**king hilarious.

09/02/2009 06:31:33 PM

Truthiness

In re. #1: How do you find the increment of the dance style? Also, what is the definition of epsilon?

09/02/2009 06:24:50 PM

TheJeremy

except.

09/02/2009 05:37:25 PM

crackcorn

Excellent list, accept #9 already touched on the typing fast joke, and yet it was present in #7. And even though #9 had way more than just the typing fast joke, somehow it looses to #7? What kind of logic is that? And if I have to break open my calculus book to understand a joke, it's not funny. #1 = massive failure. Other than that, great list. #4, #10, #11 were the best.

09/02/2009 05:36:59 PM

crackcorn

11, 4 and 2 for the win.

09/02/2009 04:53:45 PM

mochamelody

This was one of the best I've seen recently. These were all really clever. Number 7 didn't really fit into the theme, but it was quite clever anyway.

09/02/2009 04:10:39 PM

bratman

Interesting to see the idiots show themselves. You only need to be marginally educated to get these, and if you get them, they are quite funny. You get a free pass if you're an annoying little kid, since such may not have been exposed to enough reading/science to follow.

09/02/2009 04:01:53 PM

Nerivis

@ felixlandis no because as the seconds left on bomb increases so does the speed of time. You're thinking of it chronologically instead of in a consecutive numerical order. I see what you're saying though.

09/02/2009 03:49:52 PM

Chickamauga

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09/02/2009 03:31:59 PM

kaly76hummer

@ CrazyGoLucky O.O I thought I was the only one who noticed this! It seriously makes me not even want to join any contests. Oh well, at least that means the staff of Cracked are apparently really nice people.

09/02/2009 03:10:23 PM

ChibiLi

I think #11 should've won. I don't even get the winning picture.

09/02/2009 03:08:18 PM

ChibiLi

These were all actually pretty good. Good work Cracked Readers!

09/02/2009 02:52:51 PM

Blammo

7-9 were the funniest to me, but maybe thats because I recently watched all the bourne movies so that kinda stuff is funny to me

09/02/2009 02:41:42 PM

communismfairy

#4's the best. #1's pretty funny xD

09/02/2009 02:35:08 PM

Morgahn

not sure but shouldn't the slope on 3 be up side down, as time usually stretches as the countdown approaches 0 ?

09/02/2009 02:30:19 PM

felixlandis

3 and 7 are my favorites. Overall a great contest, makes up for last week's.

09/02/2009 01:11:35 PM

Siebenstein

why is it the mediocre ones always get first place. i swear to god, every contest, the first pick is half as funny as number 11, or 7 or whatever. what kind of scam is this? Cracked, wtf man?

09/02/2009 01:06:09 PM

CrazyGoLucky

Absolutely outstanding contest. I'm hoping the next one will be amazing as well.

09/02/2009 01:01:08 PM

Jorran

This was just an outstanding contest. Nearly all of the contestants deserved number 1. Thanks for making me laugh today Cracked.

09/02/2009 12:45:16 PM

civver

2, 11, and 17 were my favorites.

09/02/2009 12:24:58 PM

imapepper01

9 was the best, y'all suck a dick

09/02/2009 12:09:17 PM

BIGMIKE

#11 was awesome #4 too

09/02/2009 11:54:13 AM

Redant

#3 was by far the most clever. That should have won.

09/02/2009 11:50:57 AM

MatthewPerry

Too. Much. Text.

09/02/2009 11:47:46 AM

Simski

How much of a nerd am I that I noticed the delta symbol in #1 should have been in front of the D?

09/02/2009 11:47:15 AM

AshsWorkshed

#4 All the way!

09/02/2009 11:34:39 AM

echocharlie

#4 should have won

09/02/2009 11:04:36 AM

eyehawk

YAWN. this was a boring topic overall.

09/02/2009 10:36:05 AM

exploding_girl

the Hacking Keyboard was the best!!

09/02/2009 10:06:57 AM

Mighty

#13 and #9 Are Amazing, goodjob whomever did them!

09/02/2009 09:56:16 AM

FissionBoy

@formosus "#18 Doesn't actually understand how a bullet works, does he? The bullet is the only part that actually leaves the gun." And Hollywood Does?

09/02/2009 09:51:02 AM

car-low

http://www.ihateyounatalie.com/?id=1830860

09/02/2009 08:58:42 AM

haxzor

#14 is a reference to Star Trek/Star Wars, and how most people seem to be able to dodge laser beams when they see them coming.

09/02/2009 08:49:37 AM

Patella-Prizer

@zerocyde: Weekend at Bernies 1 and 2 are about a couple of guys over the course of a couple weeks pretend their boss's dead body is alive. The body never rots or shows any sign of death other than sexual rigor mortis. #14 and #11 made me laugh, but I won't deny the brilliance of #1

09/02/2009 08:48:32 AM

pelcurus

The winner = huh?

09/02/2009 08:48:16 AM

manleyart

istrasci , you're overthinking it. The joke in #6 is that cars in movies explode like a goddamn atom bomb.

09/02/2009 08:45:28 AM

Ruebusch

#18 Doesn't actually understand how a bullet works, does he? The bullet is the only part that actually leaves the gun.

09/02/2009 08:44:39 AM

formosus

what ya guys do, randomly select a winner from a hat? that "winner" is lame compared to some of the others... oh well... everyone's a winner, right? /flash backs to little league

09/02/2009 08:43:17 AM

woolf2k

Sorry, #14, it's #14 that I don't get.

09/02/2009 08:30:51 AM

Zerocyde

I don't get #13.

09/02/2009 08:30:21 AM

Zerocyde

whats going on in #6?

09/02/2009 08:19:42 AM

Tesuansey

Can someone explain #6...? Are those bombs inside or NOS canisters or what???

09/02/2009 08:19:07 AM

istrasci

I laughed at every one of these. Why can't all of the PS contests be like this?

09/02/2009 08:17:29 AM

madman1

#13 refers to the unrealistic high number off martial arts trained super models that wear tight leather outfits that seem to rule the sientific world in moveis...

09/02/2009 07:57:40 AM

dalord

#16 and #11 were the funniest, in my opinion. And yeah, I'm not sure I get #13, either. Considering how lame this topic idea was, this list was surprisingly funny--actually, these are some of the funniest entries I've seen in quite some time. Great job, all!

09/02/2009 06:48:17 AM

mournblade

#4: it's been a while since I've seen Powder, but wasn't he absorbed by the lightning?

09/02/2009 06:35:22 AM

TheRunningMan

#1 is brilliant, but #16 is hilarious.

09/02/2009 06:32:36 AM

dandaman

@Darclipto: It refers to how women scientist and men in movies are inexplicably hot and good at being badasses...s

09/02/2009 06:20:51 AM

asianpork

For #3, the graph is pointing up because time will always compensate to allow the hero to escape/deactivate the bomb with as little time remaining as possible. If the hero has 3 seconds to escpae, those seconds will go slowly. If he has 90 seconds, those seconds will go quickly. TIme adjusts itself to provide the most suspensful finish possible

09/02/2009 06:15:23 AM

dju_lobster

For #3, the graph is pointing up because time will always compensate to allow the hero to escape/deactivate the bomb with as little time remaining as possible. If the hero has 3 seconds to escpae, those seconds will go slowly. If he has 90 seconds, those seconds will go quickly. TIme adjusts itself to provide the most suspensful finish possible

09/02/2009 06:13:14 AM

dju_lobster

Man that was clever. The first one is an overly complicated formula relating Montage length with all the variables listed. As you know, montages were an almost integral part in 80s movies (Rocky IV, anyone), hence the 80s icons (Kenny Loggins, leg warmers, et al). Even Team America satirizes them.

09/02/2009 06:11:33 AM

reztoc

jerewhit.... you sly dog.

09/02/2009 06:10:00 AM

GiantNormus

That was the best photoshop contest I've seen on cracked. Very witty and funny and very true (concerning movies anyway). Goob job guys!

09/02/2009 06:07:50 AM

mac_24_seven

Wow, that is way cool dude. I really like that idea! RT www.anonymous-web.be.tc

09/02/2009 05:53:01 AM

slinkyzomo

On number 3 shouldn't the graph line be heading down. Time slows as counter reaches zero

09/02/2009 05:43:13 AM

protoroc

#13 makes absolutely no sense to me...

09/02/2009 05:41:43 AM

Darclipto

Man that was clever. The first one is an overly complicated formula relating Montage length with all the variables listed. As you know, montages were an almost integral part in 80s movies (Rocky IV, anyone), hence the 80s icons (Kenny Loggins, leg warmers, et al). Even Team America satirizes them.

09/02/2009 05:39:56 AM

reztoc

excellent work by all, and thanks for the explanation pliny. personally i thought 19 was the best, but every entry was amusing and well made.

09/02/2009 05:39:15 AM

zsasz

haha these were all pretty good. @mojojojo: when you're doing a 2 minute work montage in a movie, 2 months pass. get it?

09/02/2009 05:33:04 AM

Pliny

In space no one can hear you scream because sound doesn't travel in a vacuum. In movies set in space, no one can hear you scream because it's too damn loud.

09/02/2009 05:28:55 AM

Captainmike

14 and 10 were the best

09/02/2009 05:24:08 AM

AlucardJones

huh dont get the first one...anyone wanna explain??

09/02/2009 05:12:40 AM

mojojojo

first hru dur

09/02/2009 05:02:45 AM

celticknife