The Worst Possible Time to Get An Erection

WTF is with all these damned dating website spammers?

10/30/2009 04:36:08 PM

1337_5K1LL5

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10/17/2009 06:02:13 PM

kaly76hummer

@crackcorn: 4 is a reference to kate and leo, as said before. in 3, the astronaut's boner caused his suit to rupture, and we all know what happens if an astronaut's suit ruptures. You slimy little lump of sentient bird s**t. Happy?

10/04/2009 03:47:20 PM

TheGayinator

#4 is a reference to the chick flick Kate & Leo. In the beginning, they're talking about how the Brooklyn Bridge is the "greatest erection" by man (or something along those lines). Very thinly disguised double entendre... In this pic, the person has supposedly won the Brooklyn Bridge...however the notice above that states that all of their liquefiable assets will be repossessed by the crediting company. Yeah...it took me a minute too. Damn clever though!

10/01/2009 11:18:51 PM

EricSPhoto

Wait, he's no friggin diver, bruno??

08/03/2009 08:34:00 AM

ron.deathorgy

The diver at #23 looks like Bruno.. :O

08/03/2009 08:32:00 AM

ron.deathorgy

I really enjoyed these. #23 made me laugh the hardest! It's okay to get an erection if you're looking at my site, tho...

07/27/2009 01:36:00 PM

CoyoteDoyenne

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07/26/2009 08:16:00 PM

cherry668

Haha number 9

07/13/2009 04:06:00 PM

cockmaster

22, 19 and 2. Those were the best. I don't get 3 and 4 at all. Could someone please explain those to me in the most sarcastic way possible, while comparing me to something with the intelligence of a severed donkey penis? I'm a bit of a sadomasochist.

07/13/2009 01:10:00 PM

crackcorn

Number 1 wasn't funny at all. Now number 4, that one was genius. I'll never understand the thinking behind the people who rank these things.

07/13/2009 12:00:00 PM

Goony

That was terrible. The only one that made me chuckle was #9.

07/12/2009 12:07:00 AM

padme

Number 17 isn't even a plausible situation... The only possible reason for the bear trap is to create the joke.

07/11/2009 08:45:00 PM

OneSolution

Good old Cracked stuffs. I've got more fun stuffs for ya all. "Week's Most Hilarious Videos 6/29" http://tv1.com/playlists/465

07/11/2009 06:50:00 PM

sky_slasher

http://www.ihateyounatalie.com/?id=1712095

07/11/2009 02:31:00 PM

HolyMoly

Bigbird's dick look so comfortable...

07/11/2009 12:34:00 PM

coughing_camel

I dont think bigbirds dick has feathers.....

07/11/2009 11:36:00 AM

eliabgzz

That poor boy scout.

07/10/2009 09:25:00 PM

dizzypdx

18, 19, and 3 were my favorites

07/10/2009 07:50:00 PM

Talen

I liked #22, but then, I am a Sick Bastard.

07/10/2009 06:49:00 AM

Grayone

5 should have won

07/09/2009 08:27:00 PM

mangoman78

I love 17, mostly because of that guy's face.

07/09/2009 08:19:00 PM

jddrewes

I would curse you out for saying that habbazoot, but I'm too busy laughing at all of your previous contest entries. Not because they're funny, but because they suck enormous elephant dick.

07/09/2009 08:04:00 PM

McBeefy

number 2 was the worst one

07/09/2009 06:42:00 PM

habbazoot

#4 is great. It should have won. Chevy: It says the bridge is an erection of something. (Read the last line.) He would get it before the company took it.

07/09/2009 01:23:00 PM

SHO

#12.?

07/09/2009 10:12:00 AM

bliss.

call me crazy.....but i really dont get number 4

07/09/2009 06:30:00 AM

ChevyDoucheBag

Good to know! And thousands of sincere and serious tall people I met on ___Tallconnect Com___ are the most amazing people I ever met! they care nothing but real love and chemistry! that's what we are looking for in today's world!

07/09/2009 04:58:00 AM

caochong

How did #4 not win? Genius.

07/09/2009 04:57:00 AM

caochong

Most of these are pretty sub par. Agree that #9 was the best. How did the Oscars one even make the final cut?

07/09/2009 04:08:00 AM

el_en_em

I don't how #6 got to #6?

07/09/2009 03:40:00 AM

redjimmy

@Razdaz ahh, now i see.. it's making me giggle instantly, thanks for the explanation dude, really appreciate it! :D

07/09/2009 03:31:00 AM

Justcallmeivan

Number 4 is genius.

07/09/2009 02:38:00 AM

JC175

I don't get number 6. Are we saying that the dough-boy's thingie got stuck to the pan and burned off?

07/09/2009 12:59:00 AM

ZenStorm

Wow, most of those were terrible. Like, middle-schoolers fucking around on MS Paint terrible.

07/08/2009 11:48:00 PM

thejackyl

19 was my favorite - reminds me of Canteen Boy from SNL :p

07/08/2009 11:24:00 PM

naughtypagan72

#18 and #4 are my favorite. For a second I thought Marion Cotillard was the one with the boner.

07/08/2009 11:02:00 PM

Sanjuro

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07/08/2009 10:55:00 PM

veronica5

#1, I had to figure out what was going on. It took me a while. Too long. #2? I still don't know what the hell happened. Someone explain it to me. #7 was well done. I am stupid enough that it is funny.

07/08/2009 10:53:00 PM

beancounter

#9 was simply the best. Perhaps there was more than one reason why they were called the Big Three...

07/08/2009 09:51:00 PM

Parsat

@Mariam67- The horse is the one with the erection. It got caught on the jump..

07/08/2009 09:33:00 PM

johnstb3

I don't get #4 at all either lol. Someone explain it to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ;_;

07/08/2009 09:30:00 PM

struggle

Loved it!! I loved #2 the best, though...

07/08/2009 09:24:00 PM

Libertariandude

Yeah number 4 soared above my head til I read the explanation. Then it made me giggle. Number 21 make me laughing my fucking ass off.

07/08/2009 09:12:00 PM

LOLinator

@Justcallmeivan The Brooklyn bridge is an "erection" as in a building. Therefore, the person who won the bridge "Got an erection". However, he also got a letter telling him that he is to turn over "all liquidatable assests", mean he got the Brooklyn bridge only to lose it, making it a very bad time to "get an erection". Get it?

07/08/2009 08:46:00 PM

RazDaz

I don't really get #4 would someone kindly explain it to me?

07/08/2009 08:26:00 PM

Justcallmeivan

#15 - That's why they call him Big Bird!

07/08/2009 07:53:00 PM

echocharlie

How did #4 not win? Genius.

07/08/2009 06:54:00 PM

bradf001

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07/08/2009 06:06:00 PM

sugarbaby2009

13 and 9 = favs :D

07/08/2009 06:00:00 PM

bibliophilica

The thread had some very good ones that didn't get here, sadly.

07/08/2009 05:21:00 PM

TheDarkFlame

Oh my fuck that whole thing was funny. 21 should have won it though

07/08/2009 04:37:00 PM

Cruel

@TromeoQue It is from Poe's "Pit and the Pendulum."

07/08/2009 04:15:00 PM

Fuckaccounts

WOW! For the first time I actually agree with Cracked on the winner. #4 is way to highbrow humor for Cracked.

07/08/2009 04:13:00 PM

Fuckaccounts

Was #22 from Choose Your Own Adventure?

07/08/2009 04:12:00 PM

TromeoQue

I don't get no. 1. Most of the others were hilarious, especially no. 4. Way to go, everyone!

07/08/2009 03:50:00 PM

mariam67

#18!

07/08/2009 03:46:00 PM

Jack-O

And #22, holy shit, #22. That should've been top five material. As far as encapsulating the theme of the contest, that takes the cake.

07/08/2009 03:13:00 PM

Actionopoly

#9 and #4 are hilarious, and the only ones that really made me laugh. #8 was the best standard "That's awkward" entry. I'm usually alright with the rankings, but for this contest I just don't agree at all.

07/08/2009 03:12:00 PM

Actionopoly

#15 was so terrible, terrible wrong, I loved it. #9 made me laugh, but it has little to do with photoshop

07/08/2009 02:59:00 PM

Binak_Algo

I don't know about this one, seriously. I was going to say it was about half good half bad. Then I looked again and decided most of them sucked. Then I thought about it, and said fuck it, I don't know what to think. One thing is for sure...#1 should have been something else, like #4, that's the only one I know for sure is funny. By the way, while we're on the subject of dongs, has anyone made an official definition of dongtacular? I haven't seen one, and if I did, I forgot.

07/08/2009 02:56:00 PM

AyteeSics

This was not very good... :(

07/08/2009 02:46:00 PM

PedroAzevedo1

Most of these were awful. Where's the effort?!

07/08/2009 02:41:00 PM

HexenBexen

I don`t get number 7?

07/08/2009 02:01:00 PM

leagan66

#5 was fuckin brilliant!

07/08/2009 01:57:00 PM

Mjolnir!

Explanation of #4 (which I thought was very clever): The Brooklyn Bridge may also be called "an erection." And the worst time to get THAT kind of erection is when the economy is taking a crap, as illuminated by all the bills and notices.

07/08/2009 01:45:00 PM

Nasha

i dont get number 4.?

07/08/2009 01:27:00 PM

quasimodo24

#15 is just plain wrong. #12 is funny as hell because of it's obscurity (who under 30 even knows what that show is? #6 is both disgusting and painful. #2 is just funny as hell.

07/08/2009 01:14:00 PM

voidedlives

Long time Cracked reader, though this one finally made me register, because, like, I have a message that the whole world needs to see, you know. Anyway, there were two spots in this article where I chuckled. First, #21, obviously. If the whole article was just this one image, it'd been a bit short, but helluva funnier than the resulting awkward MOST RETARDED ARTICLE I'VE EVER SEEN ON CRACKED. And heck, I've seen the other Photoshop (or better, MS Paint) contests before. The second, and probably the best part of the whole article was a comment by Thadeus: "These all sucked and everyone who made one should get cancer." Sadly, so true.

07/08/2009 01:04:00 PM

Otana

Personally liked 9 the best. >_>

07/08/2009 01:02:00 PM

IDUnavailable

I've seen every single one of these galleries and that was by far the most creative and the best. Number 1 and 2 were splendid but I think #4 deserves the win for thinking outside of the box haha. Cheers.

07/08/2009 12:57:00 PM

gregger

#9 was awesomeness incarnate. I love how Churchill has that "Oh, dear!" look on his face!

07/08/2009 11:45:00 AM

Smiles

Cracked used my contest suggestion. I feel so special.

07/08/2009 11:33:00 AM

CannibalismFTW

#4 and #19 are the best

07/08/2009 11:27:00 AM

leet

22, 16, and 13 got a chuckle out of me. Number 4 should have won for creative thinking. The rest were just contrived, and to make it worse, shitty image editing skills.

07/08/2009 11:18:00 AM

civver

LOL #12 is great. Damn i'm old. #1 is the best. as for #20, I admit I also got a boner from my Mac.

07/08/2009 11:12:00 AM

4thSurvivor

Numbers 12 and 4 are my favourites. 12 made me laugh aloud (LA in internet acronyms).

07/08/2009 10:54:00 AM

kingmonkey

haha. funney. http://www.ihateyounatalie.com/?id=1719960

07/08/2009 10:43:00 AM

riccidemond

#10 disturbed me a bit.

07/08/2009 10:24:00 AM

orypeci

number 10 is f***ed up beyond belief. number 4 was deffo my fave ^_^

07/08/2009 10:22:00 AM

land_squid

@Gourry I lol'd.

07/08/2009 10:21:00 AM

Tartra

#4 was great just because it went in a different direction. I thought #1 was funny but it definitely wasn't the best. And #18 was pretty good, too.

07/08/2009 10:19:00 AM

Tartra

These all sucked and everyone who made one should get cancer.

07/08/2009 10:17:00 AM

Thadeus

Numbers 4, 5, 9, 11, 13 and 17 were all good. That's plenty, but some of the others were utterly terrible. But the more I think about it, the more I think #4 should have won.

07/08/2009 10:09:00 AM

Pedgerow

Jeez number four, talk about obtuse.

07/08/2009 10:02:00 AM

Muffles

I'm surprised 21 and 22 didn't get a better rank

07/08/2009 09:52:00 AM

Yuusharo

Retarded.

07/08/2009 09:18:00 AM

n19eteen

Most of these are pretty boring and unimaginative.

07/08/2009 08:52:00 AM

pdu

I dunno, most of these were just sort of meh.

07/08/2009 08:43:00 AM

kazarkus

For those who don't get number 4. The Brooklyn Bridge is an "erection" but not a boner. Erection has multiple definitions. The person in question opens mail to realize that he has one a priceless monument in a prize give away, then in the next piece of mail he learns that his assets, ie. all his stuff including his new prize, are being liquidated to rectify his debt. Hence, this the worst moment for him to have an erection. Timely and clever. I think this one and the V one are my favorites.

07/08/2009 08:34:00 AM

Martok

I don't get #4 at all. The Big Bird one is the most disturbing. His is covered with feathers?

07/08/2009 08:28:00 AM

Gourry

That was a whole lot of erect penis for one cracked article.

07/08/2009 08:06:00 AM

QuankersJenkins

Funny - I always thought Big Bird was female.

07/08/2009 08:04:00 AM

Truthiness

Oh, I didn't even see the horse had a boner. Hmm. It's still not my favorite. Nos. 3 and 4 were hilarious. Good work!

07/08/2009 07:48:00 AM

Chotchky

For me, 17 was the best. With 4 coming a close second.

07/08/2009 07:39:00 AM

Caspa

So I take it that on #4, somebody got a boner at an auction house or something?

07/08/2009 07:39:00 AM

danielbook

haha. Number 4 should have won for its sheer genius-ness.

07/08/2009 07:31:00 AM

TheYellowDart14

Can someone explain 4?

07/08/2009 07:13:00 AM

James-K

Oh and @silver: look up different definitions of the word "erection".

07/08/2009 07:10:00 AM

Pliny

13 and 14 worked for me. AND 5, if I understood it, implying some tranny action!!

07/08/2009 07:09:00 AM

nwbrnshdw

Okay 4 is freaking genius.

07/08/2009 07:09:00 AM

Pliny

#5: The Oscar she's holding has an erection. I definitely laughed hardest at #8, but these just generally weren't that funny :(

07/08/2009 07:08:00 AM

FloridaGirl

Is that 'V' in #12? In which case, kudos for the 25-year-old TV reference

07/08/2009 07:06:00 AM

shadowfacts

I'm struggling here.

07/08/2009 06:48:00 AM

Swaimfan

The horse one was great, but, for the most part, I was not impressed.

07/08/2009 06:46:00 AM

Onodera

Explanation on #5? @ Ellis: I agree that one was very clever. Took me a minute lol.

07/08/2009 06:46:00 AM

ActionBastrd

asian pork: look at the oscar

07/08/2009 06:34:00 AM

DudeQ

OH my God, number 4. That's fucking brilliant, it should have won simply for interpretive originality.

07/08/2009 06:25:00 AM

Ellis

15 is brilliant

07/08/2009 06:25:00 AM

phix

That was pretty funny... but I must say I didn't get #4.

07/08/2009 06:17:00 AM

silver-crescent

Ah, right. Thought the horse was the other way around.

07/08/2009 06:15:00 AM

runner-runner

#9 is my favorite out of sheer class I thought #10 was for sure going to win though

07/08/2009 06:14:00 AM

Aprilizer

First. Also, don't get the winner at all.

07/08/2009 06:10:00 AM

runner-runner

#19 is just...wow...and #5 I do not get.

07/08/2009 06:09:00 AM

asianpork

#4 took me way too long to figure out

07/08/2009 06:06:00 AM

Stutteringbill

Meh...

07/08/2009 06:05:00 AM

DapperDaveIa

Lmao number 1 definitely deserved it's spot. It took me a minute to understand what was going on, but once I did, I loled.

07/08/2009 06:03:00 AM

wolfbaden6