20 Bond Devices That Didn't Make the Cut

HAHA!! #5 & #17 were awesome!!! I just died!

10/01/2009 02:53:17 AM

Portalian

# 9 should've won. That was funny.

08/07/2009 01:56:00 PM

Flashpenny

@jayemmbee No the one in The World Is Not Enough just looks at whether or not the people he's looking at have concealed weapons. The one on # 11 looks through clothes, particularly bras.

07/15/2009 07:08:00 AM

Flashpenny

Corpsy's Gunchucks (#6) should have won...

05/14/2009 06:06:00 PM

DHeadshot

#11 already exists in The World is not Enough

05/08/2009 09:14:00 AM

Jayemmbee

yay for Otto the Autopilot! and poor Jack Lemmon.

02/19/2009 06:22:00 PM

bibliophilica

i don't get #8 or 6. is it like numchucks with guns?

11/26/2008 11:01:00 AM

sallysmanager

#3 LOLs totaly

11/25/2008 06:50:00 PM

hellblade

Watching SNL. Bond spoof. Girl with hilarious name of: Pussy Galore. Right after, I saw this and shit myself. I will now change my pants and leave you with "Funny"

11/22/2008 09:02:00 PM

toastking

Ha ha, Butt-Rocket on #9 FTW. And the look on his face is so happy; how can you not smile too?! Smile on Butt Rocket Bond, Smile on

11/22/2008 07:53:00 AM

agentsarahjane

I think #9 and #8 were funniest! MOUSTACHE GRENADE! ASS JET!

11/22/2008 12:04:00 AM

TechnoDude

So THAT's where ShamWow comes from. I always loved those damned towels. How can you go to a car show and NOT buy one? Still, they need better captions for the old guy. Old pam anderson's got some funny lolcaptions: http://www.icanhassex.com/content/pamela_anderson_milf Yes, I'm drunk.

11/21/2008 02:51:00 PM

biglover

Can someone please give me the nlink to where I can see the winning entries in the James Bond Photoshop Contest? Thank you...

11/21/2008 11:49:00 AM

daniel-gimj

Is it wrong for a man/woman to have a sugar baby ?? It is an absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services come out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship, such as ^^^^^^ M E E T RI C H. C OM^^^^^^ It's a place that all Men can find real S E X Y women online with photos,... who enjoying chatting sports an d stars..

11/21/2008 08:16:00 AM

poerwer

Uhm, hasn't #11 been done in The World is not Enough? If I remember correctly, Bond used Xray glasses to spot which guards had guns and spy some boobage as well.

11/21/2008 08:13:00 AM

Bobby Bobby

#6 did it for me.

11/21/2008 07:22:00 AM

Obefiend

#6 did it for me.

11/21/2008 07:22:00 AM

Obefiend

Okay, we had bond with swimmies and an inflatable tugboat around his waist....where the shit is that? I feel as though I'm a young girl on her prom night who was just taken advantage of...

11/21/2008 07:01:00 AM

jbluemast

Gotta say, love the 'Airplane!' reference in #3.

11/21/2008 04:49:00 AM

Tiamatty

Gotta go with #4 on this because of the Scrubs/Mae West reference and maybe #2.

11/21/2008 01:07:00 AM

Jazzy

loved #12

11/21/2008 12:36:00 AM

Kills4Dethklok

Nice little Scrubs reference in No. 4.

11/21/2008 12:11:00 AM

Joker666

Hey, now this is a Photoshop contest. You picked some good ones this time, Cracked. Except for maybe #9, that one's pretty retarded.

11/20/2008 10:55:00 PM

SickBoy

ooh! ooh! 69th comment! wooohoooo

11/20/2008 10:40:00 PM

DeafOne

I loved number 8 just because moon shoes would obviously be infinitely better if they left a trail of explosions in their wake. however, Number 8 was probably the best combination of good idea and great execution. Also it was nice to see Tim Dalton make on list of anything having to do with James Bond. The first one wasn't bad but it was far from my favorite

11/20/2008 09:50:00 PM

giantcowofdoom

I laughed out loud to half of them. While I don't dislike #1, almost all of them deserved tow in.

11/20/2008 07:23:00 PM

mrpopenfresh

#8 was the best. #9 was great for the funny yet disturbing visual.

11/20/2008 06:50:00 PM

locodiablo

#7 is hilarious

11/20/2008 06:45:00 PM

Ladyofillrepute

Number 11 is the funniest picture, though not necessarily the best idea.

11/20/2008 05:50:00 PM

almightypt88

The Gunchucks were the best.

11/20/2008 05:48:00 PM

Anduril

more like...SCAMwow!!! haha i'm so clever.

11/20/2008 04:46:00 PM

imapepper01

The Todd should be Bond next.

11/20/2008 04:16:00 PM

luckylostie

#7 is genius. he probably could have used it.

11/20/2008 04:06:00 PM

elephantasy

#5 made me laugh my ass off. Good show, gentlemen.

11/20/2008 03:27:00 PM

Murphy2112

#7 hilarious

11/20/2008 03:19:00 PM

Whitepeople

Yes, they're Gun-Chucks. My original image actually said that on it, but I thought it was too obvious. Glad it made it to the list. I'm surprised Tupper's rocket walker didn't make it. It kind of looks like there was an animated gif backlash.

11/20/2008 03:17:00 PM

Corpsy

The winner was really cliche....

11/20/2008 03:13:00 PM

Driscolf

Number 3 didn't win. There is no god.

11/20/2008 03:09:00 PM

malachi

No, no. They must be referred to by their AWESOME name. Behold...the GUNCHUKS Seriously though, like half of these were epic win. Good job entrants, you did Bond proud.

11/20/2008 03:07:00 PM

Shii

Nunchuk Pistols! Why didn't Halliburton think of that?!?

11/20/2008 02:32:00 PM

vitajex

Touche, codespyer. Notice, though, how mine was not selected amongst the winners (rightly so). If the same discretion used to recognize my own entry's failure had been used on most of the entries selected as winners, I would have to nothing to say. I just reread my first comment, and it turns out that I did not say my entry was great. That would have been an erroneous statement. I did, however, say that most of these entries were horrible, which still stands on full factual merit

11/20/2008 02:03:00 PM

TheGreenSaga

thanks for all the nice comments. I'm not one to usually complain about photoshop winners but I would like to mention that I submit an animated gif of bond with a martini hat that turns into a sombrero and a top hat before the winning martini hat was submitted. Sure neither deserved #1 but at least recognize the original.

11/20/2008 01:44:00 PM

Justintoxicated

19 is fucking bullshit. You can totally tell that that Homoshop was taken from a woman's vag. Fuckin idiot.

11/20/2008 01:32:00 PM

fuckyoucracked

I thought these were funny. I especially liked #14(STDs/sex rec)and loved #5: ah the simplicity of it.

11/20/2008 01:13:00 PM

YellowPages

I think 8 was the best

11/20/2008 01:06:00 PM

beefycheez

mad props to 3 and 14.

11/20/2008 12:54:00 PM

bibliophilica

#8 should've won.

11/20/2008 12:53:00 PM

Bamboozled

I'm not horribly wowed by any of these - but the winner is pretty freaking hilarious. I also laughed at #10. That's pretty much it.

11/20/2008 12:53:00 PM

McKay

Number six just looks so...right. That and the nose and glasses.

11/20/2008 12:29:00 PM

Xerodo

Good choice on the winner, but my absolute favorite is #3 for its author. Inside joke five!

11/20/2008 12:09:00 PM

LummoxJR

#11 Was already in The World Is Not Enough.

11/20/2008 11:42:00 AM

Wiseman_2

Wow I thought #3 had been screwed out of the prize until I saw the winner. Kudos.

11/20/2008 11:39:00 AM

Tittysprinkles

wow most of these entries are pretty lame only #8 and 14 acctually deserved to be there

11/20/2008 11:21:00 AM

monkeyboy

Hell yeah to the nose and glasses!!

11/20/2008 11:11:00 AM

mr_plow

the gunchucku are awesome. I need a pair.

11/20/2008 11:04:00 AM

Brainsurgery

hah, I love the x-ray baguette

11/20/2008 10:49:00 AM

sweet_katie

#6, gun-chuks yo! Man, I fucking love 8-bit theater.

11/20/2008 10:32:00 AM

nova_NIN

i love how this is a photoshop contest and photoshopping skills aren't even considered when picking the winners. it's like it's a race to the stupidest idea, from rockets in brosnan's butt to hick-like alcohol dispenser hats.

11/20/2008 09:54:00 AM

dreamcrusher25

#12 is the greatest...Anytime I look at it I laugh hysterically

11/20/2008 09:31:00 AM

Grampaeddie

Checkminus - #2 is joking about the fact that the Bond actor changes about every five years.

11/20/2008 09:22:00 AM

ihateyoukenny

damn i saw some great ones on the forums that didn't make it on. i loved the sunglasses that display armor, weapons and items which was just the HUD of golden eye in nintendo 64 The airplane autopilot should've won...

11/20/2008 09:20:00 AM

crank916

al of these were hilarious... except #2.

11/20/2008 09:17:00 AM

checkminus

I love #3. The auto pilot scene from Airplane is a fuckin' classic!

11/20/2008 09:14:00 AM

Truthiness

@maldonsfecht: He sure does.

11/20/2008 09:13:00 AM

GoogleMan

I now want nunchuck guns. Thanks Cracked for giving me another cool idea that I will never live out in real life.

11/20/2008 09:07:00 AM

pelcurus

All of these were great!

11/20/2008 09:04:00 AM

TheAntiAssClown

#7 is awesome simply for the fact that Q comes off looking like Hoggle from Labyrinth...

11/20/2008 08:41:00 AM

maldonsfecht

Nice work all, a lot of these are just epic. Especially the grenade 'stache, the shamwow, and the autopilot

11/20/2008 08:12:00 AM

GenPayne

I thought these were good entries, except number 2, funny, but not top 20 funny. Number 1 deserves to be on the list, but not at 1, there were better ones. And come on the magic wallet as a rejected item, that's gold. bastards.

11/20/2008 08:10:00 AM

getfreshdesigns

Personally i think #12 should have won.

11/20/2008 08:05:00 AM

Sneaky64

I don't think I could see #19 past the chest and abs. LOL

11/20/2008 07:32:00 AM

fijimermaid

Man, I wish I wasn't banned from submitting photoshops, I would win the first five in a row. Not to say these aren't good, cuz every single facial expression on the Daniel Graigs made me laugh. Good job, guys.

11/20/2008 07:14:00 AM

JasonVorhees

#3 wins in my book solely for the "Airplane" reference.

11/20/2008 07:13:00 AM

CrackedPipe

God... A lot of these were really bad.

11/20/2008 06:57:00 AM

GoogleMan

@ GreenSaga: Because this was a perfect display of expert Photoshop skills: http://www.cracked.com/forums/index.php?topic=39867.msg997611#msg997611

11/20/2008 06:53:00 AM

codespyder

1# wasn't the best.

11/20/2008 06:51:00 AM

lostprophet94

I don't know, even for being one of the worst photoshops I've ever seen #9 made me laugh. That and Shamwow. Shamwow was the best.

11/20/2008 06:42:00 AM

pimproyale

The butt rocket is the worst one on the list. Most of these are really, really horrible. Some of them are good, though. This is supposed to be a photoshop contest, though, right? Not just a "Cool funny/sort-of-funny idea contest"? If some of these entries spent half the time honing their technical skills as they do stretching the limits of their seventh-grade humor, this list might have been good

11/20/2008 06:32:00 AM

TheGreenSaga

That Shamwow one really cracked me up for some reason! Good job to everyone.

11/20/2008 06:31:00 AM

JayleBayt

had the butt rocket as number one, very surprised the martini cap won. But yeah good stuff all around. Also the smugness deflater watch should have at least ranked.

11/20/2008 06:17:00 AM

CountBaqula

@JakeCamAction: Who is Roger Dalton? Sounds like a crossbreed between Timothy Dalton and Roger Moore perhaps ending up fronting a tribute band of The Who(Roger Daltry). Sorry to be picky but it made me chuckle. I liked the grenade tache and the gunchucks the best.

11/20/2008 06:17:00 AM

WhatAboutThis?

JackCamAction, it's Timothy Dalton. Roger Moore was a different Bond altogether. I think #1 was good, the classy version of a college classic.

11/20/2008 06:13:00 AM

Benacor

#8 easily the best

11/20/2008 06:12:00 AM

Consummate

I have a story about floaties. I have a friend, we'll call him "FloatyFucker745". Back in the day, I stayed over at his house. I slept on the floor next to his bed, and that following morning I was stretching, my arm reaching under his bed, where I found one dejected looking floatie. I asked him about it, and he got flush and told me that he "Lubes them up and fucks them. AND sometime, he'll blow it up really tight, sometimes he'll leave it half inflated, if he's fantasizing being with a loose woman." So be wary, if your kids are still carrying floaties around at 16, there are pocket-ginas now.

11/20/2008 06:11:00 AM

taylor

#14 and #7 are brilliant. Had me chuckling like a sexy retard.

11/20/2008 06:07:00 AM

asianpork

I don't know why the gun chucks aren't number one, but those things look awesome.

11/20/2008 05:51:00 AM

Edea

5, 6, 8 and 10 were my favourites. Anyone care? High five...

11/20/2008 05:45:00 AM

beer

I giggled at number 4, but really just for the fact that I'm a scrubs fan.

11/20/2008 05:45:00 AM

Raggle

The gun-chucks should have won easily.

11/20/2008 05:28:00 AM

fnph

#6, Gun-Chucks for the win

11/20/2008 05:22:00 AM

bobboringbaker

One of the better lists i've seen. But still Number 1 wasnt the funniest. Loved the mustache grenade. So why didnt it get #1? Roger Dalton doesnt get to be number 1? fascists.

11/20/2008 05:06:00 AM

JakeCamAction