The 40 Most Inappropriate Children's Book Covers

#5 really was in my opinion pretty much the worst next to the Winny the Pooh one

11/15/2009 10:37:14 PM

philip_j_fry

pop goes the hampster...

11/08/2009 04:44:49 PM

spencerk73

I love to collect these type of book covers.My favorite's "The Invisible Child-Eating Crocodiles THAT LIVE ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE." christmas shopping

11/06/2009 08:59:58 PM

kristianna

I love to collect these type of book covers.My favorite's "The Invisible Child-Eating Crocodiles THAT LIVE ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE." christmas shopping

11/06/2009 08:59:38 PM

kristianna

http://www.edhardy-zone.com/Ed-Hardy-Long-Sleeve.html http://www.edhardy-zone.com/Ed-Hardy-Long-Sleeve/Ed-Hardy-Men-Long-Sleeve-Tee.html

11/02/2009 12:07:51 AM

blinda

ed hardy ed hardy long Sleeve ed hardy men long sleeve tee

11/02/2009 12:07:31 AM

blinda

#19 and #7 made me laugh SO. FUCKING. HARD.

11/01/2009 10:36:45 PM

Cpt.Awesomeface

Almost all the pics were funny up until 8. Then they just got really creepy.

11/01/2009 08:03:27 PM

GodofWar

Are you f**king serious? Most all of these were f**king horrible shoop-jobs, and the Microsoft Paint font-types didn't help it either. Fucking hell, this contest sucked.

11/01/2009 07:23:52 PM

PsyberKayos

Huh, I thought they were f**king hilarious until I reached 8 and they just didn't even register a chuckle after that. Still, I usually hate these photochop lists, but I really dug this one and they all look pretty good.

11/01/2009 03:09:01 PM

masamonkey

Wow. Ive lost all faith in humanity =|

11/01/2009 02:24:48 PM

Numzy

I'm wondering where the picture used for 17 would have come from. . .

11/01/2009 08:37:50 AM

RevertSpecially

23, 22 and 19 were all winners in my book.

11/01/2009 04:10:08 AM

Patella-Prizer

My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.

11/01/2009 03:48:21 AM

kaly76hummer

Seriously, I can't stop laughing about number 19. I've given myself a f**king headache.

11/01/2009 03:15:04 AM

AkibaTechno

#19 was total gold

11/01/2009 02:35:59 AM

FrodoSaves

It is the best dating club for seeking the rich singles, beauties and even hot celebs.. what's the most important is:you dont have to be a millionaire.but you can meet one!The largest site in the world to date. Marry successful as well as their admirers. Only two steeps!Sign up and contact millions of quality models now! Michael Jordan and Yvette Prieto. This is __Sugarloves-COM___ Visit W W W.Sugarloves.com

11/01/2009 02:05:52 AM

wetnight

"sigh. Too bad you put the photoshop contests as such, instead of the old way, where you could just scroll down instead of having to click and wait for each picture to load." If you look to the top right-hand side you can change it to the old Article View. I prefer it as well, less load time than the slideshow. ^_^

11/01/2009 01:32:20 AM

Sigma_Pharos

#20 was the best because for me as I'm a currently sleep deprived parent! SHUT THE FUCK UP MY DARLINGS!

10/31/2009 08:30:38 PM

echocharlie

Alot of these were really immature, but I did like #1, and I thought #23 was one of the best.

10/31/2009 06:16:08 PM

nyarly

18 and 10 were the best. Most of the others had no thought in them, just "Poop! Ahahah! Penis! Hehehe".

10/31/2009 06:05:06 PM

CorruptUser

look up. now to the right. Oh s**t, it says "article view"! That's neat!

10/31/2009 04:22:15 PM

havabadah

sigh. Too bad you put the photoshop contests as such, instead of the old way, where you could just scroll down instead of having to click and wait for each picture to load.

10/31/2009 04:18:39 PM

SPARTANIname

Dammit Cracked, why did you have to ruin Pooh? ; ) And why did you post some of these entries when they are exactly the same(as in things to put up your ass) as each other? C'mon Cracked! You can do better than that!

10/31/2009 03:59:12 PM

italiangoddess

Recycled, again? Uhhh...

10/31/2009 01:34:38 PM

Actsub

8 is one of the funniest, along with 19

10/31/2009 12:44:36 PM

LuffyZoro

32 is the best one you idiot

10/31/2009 11:35:50 AM

jalilkochai

v DING DING DING That is correct, Skinkusamloka!!! You win the $64,000 dollar prize!!!

10/31/2009 11:33:59 AM

videogamer810

Erm is it just me or are some of those pictures from old contests?

10/31/2009 11:27:22 AM

Skinkusamloka

These were all great! Except #32, f**k whoever made that one. On a side note, I almost didn't look at this contest as you didn't advertise it right on the main page. Please stop doing that!

10/31/2009 11:01:37 AM

Dave2182

#11 & #22 are the best

10/31/2009 10:49:53 AM

MamPajama

#21 was fun. The rest was not.

10/31/2009 10:47:24 AM

SegFaultOfDoom

Apparently the computer thought Sanchez was awesome enough to post that comment twice. Huh.

10/31/2009 10:43:20 AM

Seether Chick

I am still laughing at 19. Extreme, extreme thanks to whoever made that. Who was that again? Oh, it was Sanchez. How surprising. From now on I'm just going to assume that if there's something kickass, Sanchez made it.

10/31/2009 10:42:24 AM

Seether Chick

@TotalImortal -Considering the source, that shouldn't be much of a surprise, right?

10/31/2009 10:41:11 AM

AyteeSics

I am still laughing at 19. Extreme, extreme thanks to whoever made that. Who was that again? Oh, it was Sanchez. How surprising. From now on I'm just going to assume that if there's something kickass, Sanchez made it.

10/31/2009 10:37:22 AM

Seether Chick

19 should get 50 dollars.

10/31/2009 10:35:23 AM

arcbeatle

Incredible work. Nice way to start a good day. NEVER stop these contests & Happy Halloween. Btw, don't f'ing give the kids pennies/nickels this year, watch some good horror (Scream, Saw, Freddy/Jason don't count btw), mask/paint ppl -> a straw is your friend, real cutlery is better (more fun) than plastic, and in this house, you pee sitting down!

10/31/2009 10:13:54 AM

MrBunny

I'm not sure if I get #24. Shouldn't C be an asian for Chink not Chocolate? I'm not a racist but I know my slurs!

10/31/2009 10:00:02 AM

ArthurDent42

26, 21, 17, all very good. Pop goes the Hamster, that's a classic.

10/31/2009 09:56:47 AM

AznWarlord

I think it's funny how most of these deal with anus's XD

10/31/2009 09:38:15 AM

TotalImortal

Having been on missile submarines, #21 had me rolling! Great!

10/31/2009 08:50:30 AM

Panzerrat2112

Feb 15, 2008

10/31/2009 08:48:29 AM

FraX

what the f**k? Number 19 should have won, it made me laugh the most!

10/31/2009 08:40:25 AM

RandyChimp

Just know a great celeb site ___Tallconnect CO M___ where you can me et many big beautiful wo man and hand some guys.

10/31/2009 08:28:31 AM

Sallymar

19 was way better than poop jokes.

10/31/2009 07:47:45 AM

itreeby

Usually, I don't disagree with the order of these lists, mainly because I don't want to sound like a c**khammer, but Number 19 was absolutely brilliant. I think it made the others look like rubbish.

10/31/2009 07:45:38 AM

RadioRental

to people wondering about 2. Its supposed to be a penis hole

10/31/2009 07:38:40 AM

leet

ViolentDiarrhea, its a glory hole

10/31/2009 07:33:11 AM

DimmuBorgir

29 & 20 were best. Lot of good ones though.

10/31/2009 07:29:58 AM

whereRmykeys

I don't get number 2, is it supposed to be a screamer or something?

10/31/2009 07:27:16 AM

ViolentDiarrhea

Full-body penetration #....4? THERE'S MORE?!

10/31/2009 07:25:39 AM

JaundiceManatee

Fuck you beavertoes. I am f**king scarred becuase of ur entry. Congrats on makign number 1, u c**t.

10/31/2009 06:40:57 AM

Obitron2000

Kama-POOH-tra. We're all doomed.

10/31/2009 06:40:46 AM

warmonger256

Vital_Idol, it's a children's book parody photoshop competition, not a vast introspection on the beliefs and arguments of the average leftist internet user or the social pyramid on top of which big business hides and collects their rewards. Calm down dude, and find a right wing website to post on.

10/31/2009 06:27:08 AM

BAWBCABOOSE7

Mike Bastard sure knows his books for children

10/31/2009 06:18:59 AM

soylent_robot

20, 16, 11, & 7 were my favorites.

10/31/2009 06:18:23 AM

likalaruku

Double post FTW!

10/31/2009 06:12:36 AM

Vital_Idol

#18 is pretty awesome. I love how it makes fun of how internet morons don't understand libertarian economic principles and use their fallacious views to further immoral leftist agendas. Here, the dragon represents the magical big business which will exist without incorporation and freedom from tort liability. Maybe we should have a Karl Marx primer in which a billion runty piglets eternally suckle at one fat sow.

10/31/2009 06:11:52 AM

Vital_Idol

#18 is pretty awesome. I love how it makes fun of how internet morons don't understand libertarian economic principles and use their fallacious views to further immoral leftist agendas. Here, the dragon represents the magical big business which will exist without incorporation and freedom from tort liability. Maybe we should have a Karl Marx primer in which a billion runty piglets eternally suckle at one fat sow.

10/31/2009 06:11:01 AM

Vital_Idol

Number two made me cry with laughter, kudos.

10/31/2009 05:57:03 AM

benkon

I had to register to comment on this. Some of these are pure gold (the Dr Seuss and Mike Bastard ones), and most are very clever, but the top 8 are nothing but mindless juxtapositions of children and sex.

10/31/2009 05:46:04 AM

Ciansy

Thank you, schramm. I remember staring at the original cover of "My Older Brother, the Tranny" in elementary school and thinking, "That's a girl nurse, right? It has to be. But the chin is so big! Is that really a girl?"

10/31/2009 05:33:55 AM

RecycledViking

The horse in #39 has a knowing look in his eye that I am certain will follow me in my dreams.

10/31/2009 05:25:18 AM

Nackl

Oh, gosh! This was one of the best photoshop contests...ever. I do think that number one deserved to win. Oh god..."sweet love-honey". That was killerr!

10/31/2009 05:15:42 AM

coeurdouxmignon

Lol, You Can't Be An Astronaut!

08/05/2009 08:49:00 PM

Zish

Pop goes the hamster! lololololololololol

05/27/2009 11:48:00 PM

ToastMeister

i'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts. this is defenatly one of the best articles on cracked.

11/14/2008 10:36:00 AM

checkminus

i couldn't keep myself from tearing up from laughter long enough to read this.i have to admit tho that the last few were definately the products of a few very disturbed minds.

10/28/2008 08:01:00 PM

candystriper

... wow. Between the sheer horror of the depths of depravity contained within this article and the fact that I laughed at a lot of it, I just lost what tenuous hold I had on my faith in humanity. Wow.

09/28/2008 08:48:00 PM

du_Man

Oh, hey, I remember that! Put the hamster in the microwave, then the Ed dude goes crazy. God, we're nerds.

06/01/2008 01:30:00 PM

SlashPrower

OMFG, am I the ONLY one to notice the sly nod to the game "Maniac Mansion" in that hamster book? If indeed I am, then I'm definitely a geek... lol

05/27/2008 04:56:00 PM

KevinCV

i agree with the poster below me

05/08/2008 09:00:00 PM

davo

Love Uncle Cannibal! The shitting tree wasn't very funny but they got it spot on with 'America: A Dissolute Whore of a Nation' lol. GOLD!

03/04/2008 09:42:00 AM

Sigma

Then send your kid a greeting card: http://neilsnotes.com/?catid=15 LOL... they'll be unhappy you did.

02/26/2008 09:11:00 AM

Ranger

Too bad I came up with my idea too late. "Curious George's Debilitating Addiction", featuring either the illustration from the hospital visit (with the ether), or the one of George smoking a pipe (from the first book).

02/19/2008 11:09:00 PM

Guestavo

aw, my favorite wasnt there: "Fuck you, sunset"

02/19/2008 04:09:00 PM

EXCLAMATION

lol this spam is pretty insightful...

02/19/2008 09:17:00 AM

mcalfie

Rena, you are by far the funniest bot to ever post on this site.

02/16/2008 10:40:00 PM

Igfig

That is totally awesome that I was the first runner up. I was just stoked to know I made the cut considering it took me all of 2 minutes to make.

02/16/2008 03:54:00 PM

naosix

These days its hard to be funny without being racist or advocating pedophilia, but the 'Mike Bastard' submissions managed to be the funniest entry without being offensive to anyone. Except maybe a crocodile. I'm not even sure if its possible to offend a crocodile.

02/16/2008 03:16:00 AM

steveysteve

I'll never be a CRACKED editor.... it's just not realistic!

02/16/2008 02:56:00 AM

savala277

Rena.... "i love these books and have read a lot of them..." Now THAT's funny.

02/16/2008 02:55:00 AM

savala277

I agree... the two submissions by' Mike Bastard' (sanchez) were not only contest winning gold, but some of the funniest shit I've even *seen*.

02/15/2008 08:54:00 PM

EatWit

ack! it's detroitsmistErx. And I admit I saw a lot of laff out loud funny on the forum that didn't make it-make sure to check it out. I was really hoping that the Goosebumps entry would make it-the way the cover image meshed so perfect with that "sodomy" line was priceless.

02/15/2008 05:24:00 PM

detroitsmisterx

oh geebuz, pedohilia is such a problem, this sort of reminds me of that one book where the kid got molested by his uncle and by his teenage years he tought he was gay for liking it. (f*ck yes its real) well, cracked, you inspired people to bring out their evil selfs, good job! and enjoy making the round-up for tomorrow. (instead of making more articles and leaving the round-up for sunday, you bastards.)

02/15/2008 05:14:00 PM

juanlo0909

Good job on being an asshole. Your mother must be so proud.

02/15/2008 03:50:00 PM

DigiTM

That Kama Poohtra thing is definitely the thing that will scar me for life.

02/15/2008 02:34:00 PM

Parsat

you guys are sick fucks. that's sometimes what i like about other people.

02/15/2008 02:16:00 PM

the.melsa

Oh come on, no one got the reference to Dumbledore being gay in my rendition of Harry Potter and the Flaming Homosexual? It had Dumbledore on fire on the front!! You guys don't read enough Harry Potter or gay news websites!

02/15/2008 02:15:00 PM

Goose

'An Ayn Rand Primer'. Jesus, this shit is classic.

02/15/2008 01:58:00 PM

BondFiction

my favorites didn't make it - Anne the FuckRag and the Jan Svankmajer pop up book! Oh well it was pretty fun to see them all - although not sold on the winner, congrats anyway.

02/15/2008 01:56:00 PM

schramm

I agree with Pooh Bear, you shoot that annoying Eeyore's face off! Haha, these were all hilarious! Good job!

02/15/2008 12:43:00 PM

theclash413

Once again the least entertaining entry wins. If you don't cut it out I'm going to turn into one of those bitter complaining assholes you always get on here. Oh yeah, and blahblah blah racism and blah blah blah inappropriate content.

02/15/2008 12:41:00 PM

steveysteve

Oh noez, HookedOnCracked!!! Racism is bad but the pedophilia jokes are OK? That's....interesting.

02/15/2008 12:09:00 PM

Dire_Ria

Jesus Christ, Bob if ya don't wanna see it then don't click the link. How hard is that?

02/15/2008 12:05:00 PM

Dire_Ria

I encourage all fans of crude and tasteless humour to check out the entries that didn't make the cut. Many of them are hilarious, and were probably deemed too offensive to publish.

02/15/2008 11:22:00 AM

Glenn

That was too good. My picks: Oh Shit! Don't Love Dem Hoes Daddy's in the Shower The Mystery of Torture Cabin Nuclear Launch Protocol The Invisible Child-Eating Crocodiles And the winner: Uncle Charlie's Pop-Up Book

02/15/2008 11:05:00 AM

slothrop

I was rooting for Page 3, 4 and 5 of this stuff. Really creative (and fucked up) entries!

02/15/2008 11:00:00 AM