20 Ideas For Making the Olympics Kick Way More Ass

This was a really solid contest! Just about all of the pictures were good!

10/29/2009 08:51:37 AM

giganticbrain

its a toss up between midget tossing and zombie racing, i think

10/11/2009 01:26:55 PM

arbitrary

I really liked #17. Back to Roman times...

06/11/2009 01:56:00 PM

SIMM0NS77

Wow these are funny! LOL #4 and #3 are good... i like the pandas. reminds me of the movie 'kung-fu panda'.. #5, #2 and totally #1 rockss! haha LOL #2...and never saw that coming in #1 (although if u think about it...that's the most obvious idea) :-D

05/22/2009 04:49:00 AM

silverious21

#10 and #4 were AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! I laughed so hard

04/03/2009 07:29:00 AM

yesbutnotyou

# 11 is the best

03/01/2009 12:38:00 AM

wolfx77

#10 Should Have Won. Nothing has ever made me lol so hard

01/12/2009 08:08:00 AM

DarkReaches

#5 is the REAL #1 :)

01/08/2009 12:16:00 AM

chitototoy

no.2 was my fave. you gotta love it.War in the olympics?i wonder america would do

12/29/2008 06:14:00 AM

loganxiv

Why isn't Monkey Tennis included here? You know, in Female Kissing, I'm not rooting for one woman or the other - I'm just praying it goes the distance.

11/17/2008 04:31:00 AM

SenorHonkHonk

I liked the #20 better than any other...

11/13/2008 08:25:00 AM

vato_loco

im pretty shure that anybody that argues about number one is an uptight prude for damn shure. If simple female anatomy is shunned by you YOU have a problem, because there is nothing wrong with the female body being displayed in a volleyball match. Ever notice how most women against abortion are people you wouldnt fuck in the first place? For thbose of you who just have to argue with me thaats fine im not coming back here. Grow up.

11/01/2008 10:02:00 PM

Danhimself7

People are bitching about # 1 but I know all your guys would be watching that in a heart beat....all very funny this week good job cracked...#12 my fav

10/19/2008 09:15:00 PM

Kills4Dethklok

#5...VIVA ITALIA!!!!!

10/17/2008 02:35:00 PM

manusmactibilis

I am in #12's wedding in two weeks!!! Thats Crazy

09/26/2008 09:30:00 PM

doanevaulter

#19 was pretty bad, good concept, just bad clone tool hiding.

09/15/2008 08:36:00 PM

mrpopenfresh

#18 FTW!

09/04/2008 07:10:00 AM

Erika_Roxx

haha i like girl kissing one

08/29/2008 06:49:00 PM

mrfrostypie

No. 10,made me LOLed..No.4 = Fencing Panda & me fave.. No.3..Lightsaber..Neat!

08/26/2008 02:26:00 AM

ary_yra_ray

I loved 16, 5, and 1. Does that say something bad about me?

08/24/2008 06:11:00 AM

Lyonkyng

Number 7 is a real sport, sad to say.

08/21/2008 03:12:00 PM

neahga

You guys know that #10 is a complete ripoff of the Weird Al Yankovic album "Running with Scissors" cover, right? The name is a bit of a giveaway, in any case.

08/21/2008 08:28:00 AM

ihateyoukenny

At first I thought the #1 choice was lame, and still think some of the other ones (running with scissors and javelin throwing in particular) are more clever, but my recent infatuation with Misty May-Treanor (Misty May? That doesn't even seem like a real name) has left me rooting for it anyway.

08/20/2008 11:51:00 PM

Dopefish

tee hee heeee

08/20/2008 05:49:00 PM

noodlepie54

These are awesome. I like the Texas 2016. "America and China are doing well this year with ten gold metals for... yadda yadda. But Texas is blowing all the other nations out of the water with.... [etc.]" The assholes who decided to throw away Texas's Nationhood are fuckin' pricks.

08/20/2008 05:05:00 PM

Indubitableness

What about running with scissors....around a pool! no no no a pool hungry sharks...or hilart clinton! Oh the horror

08/20/2008 04:07:00 PM

Slightly_sane

I laughed at number ten haha

08/20/2008 03:30:00 PM

watchthetomato

#13 kicks ass.

08/20/2008 01:49:00 PM

chevychasened

Girl in #5 on the right is Jordan Capri- webporn starlet who dispite wearing the italian flag actually hails from Canada.

08/19/2008 06:07:00 PM

seamonkeyboy

#10 is a winner :D

08/18/2008 09:44:00 PM

rpgmaker

The girl on the right, number 5 WHO IS SHE!!?

08/18/2008 05:12:00 PM

teqifsha

lol #7. Its too good to be true. The trick is that you have to have the midget work with you, not you work with the midget.

08/18/2008 03:17:00 PM

DirtyD

As awesome as topless volleyball is, I gotta go with the rocket launcher biatholon (spl?).

08/18/2008 12:26:00 PM

Megafighter3

Who's the girl on the right for number 5.

08/18/2008 07:41:00 AM

teqifsha

Why thank you. My photoshops have never been listed before, so I am quite surprised that two are mentioned in the same contest.

08/17/2008 04:52:00 PM

xXGurrolaXx

The midget one is fantastic.

08/17/2008 09:07:00 AM

Starbite

The running with scissors one still has me laughing and I saw it about a week ago.

08/17/2008 01:07:00 AM

xXGurrolaXx

i enjoy the simplicity of the #1 entry.

08/16/2008 03:16:00 PM

nsr

Backtowacky: This section is for comments, not rambling manifestos. Please take note of this and stop being a douchebag. Thanks.

08/16/2008 01:21:00 PM

Guest_Name

i think number 17 would be funnier if the black guy was running in front and the white guy is behind him with a whip and also number five + 1/4million more viewers.. count me in

08/15/2008 09:26:00 PM

moeali777

...congrats to all of the other entries though. Screamingly funny. Leatherface one looking REAL, too.

08/15/2008 07:08:00 PM

BACKTOWACKY

I didn't enter this, and I hate to carry on, but uh...please tell me out of all those brilliant entries you did not pick the one where all they did was wipe away the chick's bikini string with the smudge tool? That is exactly what everyone else went out of their way to avoid doing. If it was a somehow outrageous photoshop job showing women doing nude gymnastics or something funny or really raunchy maybe, but wow! @ locodiablo: The person didn't even photoshop out the other volleyball chicks bikini top so IT'S NOT TOPLESS VOLLEYBALL because THE OTHER CHICK IS WEARING A BIKINI TOP. At least make the submittee put a little energy into it and have it look like two people actually playing nude. You can go online and cut & paste a real nude volleyball game picture that goes on anywhere on the West coast. I'm sorry to say, but this is why no one had been bothering with these contests for a longest time. Pretty LAY-ZEE...

08/15/2008 06:58:00 PM

BACKTOWACKY

Unoriginal idea? Perhaps. But SA's photoshop entries weren't nearly as good as these though, way to be Cracked. Not a single shark in the swimming pool among 'em.

08/15/2008 04:56:00 PM

uncouthyouth

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/olympic-sports-beijing.php so who's stealing from whom?

08/15/2008 01:55:00 PM

mydixiewrecked

#11 and #12 are by far my favorites!!

08/15/2008 11:14:00 AM

kellybrisbin

Wait-a-minute, so you guys wouldn't watch Topless Olympic Volleyball?

08/15/2008 09:55:00 AM

locodiablo

http://www.ihateyoujulia.com/?id=4eedf9a0d5e2034a6d5ae5d6290a7a1e

08/15/2008 09:46:00 AM

malimar

So did SA copy you or did you copy SA? Because someone here is absurdly unoriginal.

08/15/2008 09:14:00 AM

Acosmist

#5 and #1 don't belong, Come on "Running with scissors" now that's a race

08/15/2008 09:10:00 AM

dpayala

I'd watch topless volleyball for a few minutes. But, three-legged sprinting? Bazooka biathalon? NOW I'm watching!

08/15/2008 08:00:00 AM

yuma_bill

A+ material throughout, but, as usual, Cracked's Eyes on the Prize staff judges have bobbled the ranking order: 2, 3, 4, 9 clearly second-tier stuff; 20, 19, 17, 12 clearly top-five. Great job, Photoshoppers, it's rare to make an old varmit like me laugh out loud this early in the day. (APPLAUSE)

08/15/2008 07:36:00 AM

magusdee

no# 19 I thought they were being chased by a cloaked predator at first.

08/15/2008 05:17:00 AM

tomnd

Clearly the best competition so far but come on, #1 was undeserving. 20, 18, 17, 15, 10, 5, 3, 2; Good job =)

08/15/2008 02:18:00 AM

Drekafluga

Wow, my entry made it in! After seeing some of the better ones in the thread I thought I didn't stand a chance.

08/14/2008 11:37:00 PM

Nift

you know what the worst part is? boobs didnt even win. merely the SUGGESTION of boobs beat out the creative ones.

08/14/2008 11:14:00 PM

bunni

if you get 3rd your beheaded

08/14/2008 10:57:00 PM

bushwhacker474

In #20 the ax and the chopping block means that the person who gets the bronze medal will have his/her head chopped off.

08/14/2008 10:56:00 PM

Mongo

Still not getting #20

08/14/2008 10:01:00 PM

ajw194

have to agree with the others that #1 is really fucking lame. the others are good, though. i like almost all the others, especially 18 and 20.

08/14/2008 09:03:00 PM

DMaster17

Okay,I gotta agree with nearly everyone else here. The one you chose as number one sucks big fat monkey nuts. It's not even a bit funny really. #'s 6,11 and 20 were some of the best. Why not one of them?

08/14/2008 08:10:00 PM

XxXRachaelXxX

Yeah, not the best choice for a winner, but most of them were still funny as all get out.

08/14/2008 07:56:00 PM

Sylocat

Where's the shark in a pool photo?

08/14/2008 07:44:00 PM

echocharlie

all good entries, have to agree with the majority of posts, #1 is an omg boobs Joke, 19,17,15,14,13,7,3 were much funnier, truly in the "spirit" of diffrent, kick ass new events. I can watch topless volleyball on the beach here in NJ, nothing new. good job, all ya who submitted.

08/14/2008 07:22:00 PM

Jmx70inNJ

I just registered specifically to post this comment: you chose THAT as #1? Seriously?! #10 is my top fav.

08/14/2008 07:08:00 PM

Edea

OMG NUMBER 1 IS LAME AS FUCK!!!

08/14/2008 05:50:00 PM

Framon

it was just a generic "omg boobs" joke. seriously, you chose that for #1 guys?

08/14/2008 05:36:00 PM

harliek

is there something i'm missing about the winner, or did the funnier subtle ones once again get trumped by a generic "omg boobs" joke?

08/14/2008 05:28:00 PM

bunni

Overall, A+ photoshop entries. Took me a while to get #20 though. i thought they had to carve their own olympic medal.

08/14/2008 05:27:00 PM

DirtyD

best photoshop contest ever. hands down.

08/14/2008 05:08:00 PM

vetus

Javelin toss should be #1

08/14/2008 04:55:00 PM

petrov32

codespyder was robbed

08/14/2008 04:43:00 PM

tony_schlub

Saevio- good point, new rule then all competitors must all look like lucy pinder

08/14/2008 04:16:00 PM

Fury-S12

Just thought I would add, the whole bikini-less vollyball, well, it is a bit unoriginal to be voted no 1, the lion chasing the runner or the javelin toss were better.

08/14/2008 03:28:00 PM

MichaelFurlong

Most of these are awesome, I would have to say this has been the best photoshop contest.

08/14/2008 03:22:00 PM

MichaelFurlong

Hahaha! Great work, people. If only this was reality

08/14/2008 02:45:00 PM

TheMartine

I love all of these. Great work everybody.

08/14/2008 02:16:00 PM

Kondoor88

#5 is Brutal

08/14/2008 02:04:00 PM

jackkane

lol at the javelin toss

08/14/2008 01:57:00 PM

MandeR

10 was the best

08/14/2008 01:54:00 PM

davo

#12, the Texas one... GOLD! Only due to her expression.

08/14/2008 12:54:00 PM

Sigma

Yeah Jenna_Tullwortz is right katanas are from japan not china. Love the javilen toss though.

08/14/2008 11:59:00 AM

Zuul

I like #5 best too! XD

08/14/2008 11:56:00 AM

EvilSmoo

#1 was pathetic compared to 2,4,10,15 even 20. Why do you always pick the crappiest one?

08/14/2008 11:48:00 AM

Funky_Jimmy

This was a lot better than the other photoshop contests

08/14/2008 11:31:00 AM

Famirka

Are those katanas that the pandas are using?

08/14/2008 11:20:00 AM

Jenna_Tullwortz

#10 is the only one that actually made me laugh out loud!

08/14/2008 10:35:00 AM

pantaloonsplat

That came out wrong...they were all good, that one was just my favorite :)

08/14/2008 10:35:00 AM

pantaloonsplat

Everything in the Top 5 was Golden...

08/14/2008 10:30:00 AM

Altair

...and the panda's fighting is fuckin epic!

08/14/2008 10:22:00 AM

Grampaeddie

#20 should have been higher on the list and #15 should have been #1.

08/14/2008 10:21:00 AM

Grampaeddie

My algebra teacher a few years back was telling us that he used to patronize a bar where they had midget tossing competitions for free drinks.

08/14/2008 09:58:00 AM

malachi

these were good. personally, though, im gonna start writting letters to try to make dwarf tossing an official olympic sport.

08/14/2008 09:35:00 AM

checkminus

love #12!

08/14/2008 09:33:00 AM

EcricircE

Numbers 3 and 11 were just the tip of the iceberg. There should be more Star Wars-related events in the Olympics. Except pod racing. No one should ever be forced to watch pod racing ever again.

08/14/2008 09:31:00 AM

ShadowStaarr

How did the shark going after the swimmer not make it?

08/14/2008 09:28:00 AM

superpoop

no more talkin eddie. how you wouldnt want topless beach volleyball is beyond me! id love to be the meat in a misty may kerri walsh sandwich.

08/14/2008 09:20:00 AM

tr4in0fth0ught

Javelin fighting should have been #1.

08/14/2008 08:52:00 AM

EddieBrock412

Nope. < i > does not work.

08/14/2008 08:45:00 AM

Res_Ipsa

Dude--Pandas fighting with swords--I can go to a strip club to see boobs, but only the fuckin' OLYMPICS would have PANDAS FIGHTING WITH SWORDS. (Special Caps Lock for emphasis as I am unaware if works here.

08/14/2008 08:44:00 AM

Res_Ipsa

Well I guess we know what you have to do to win a photoshop contest now.

08/14/2008 08:38:00 AM

dylancholy

Haha.. the Lion Chase Event would be awesome!

08/14/2008 08:37:00 AM

TheDirtball

Boobs? Come on cracked, most of those were a lot better than the winner. I judge you.

08/14/2008 08:31:00 AM

yettiman

#5 is #1

08/14/2008 08:00:00 AM

MasterPC

number 5 would be good, but number one would be a thousand times better.

08/14/2008 07:43:00 AM

Gemineye870530

LOL, I love the lion chase and the lava pit! Outstanding! JT www.anondo.alturl.com

08/14/2008 07:25:00 AM

JimmyCrackHead

Good effort all round

08/14/2008 07:20:00 AM

beer

Fury 512 - Naked female gymnastics would NOT be awesome....you remember that every contestant looks like they are about 12 years old (and in the case of the Chinese team, actually are) rite? Well I dunno, if your into pedophilia...whatever floats your boat.

08/14/2008 07:17:00 AM

Saevio

Well done. I truly enjoyed these pictures.

08/14/2008 07:17:00 AM

Onodera

Ok so someone needs to find out how and who to petition to go about getting sports included in the Olympics, cause I firnly believe with the whole of cracked and no doubt numerous other sites, we CAN get number 5 to become an offically regognised sport. Come on people, lets do it. I mean people uniting to get to watch hot women make out, isn't that the true spirit of the Olympic Games?

08/14/2008 06:53:00 AM

who?

ya. I think #9 is a slip and slide... it was funnier when I thought it was a dolphin like show... LOL

08/14/2008 06:48:00 AM

woolf2k

i didn't think any were funny until 5 down, then they all were equally awesome.

08/14/2008 06:46:00 AM

mst3kevin

I don't get 9.

08/14/2008 06:38:00 AM

hominahomina

That was the funniest photoshop contest I saw. Good job guys!

08/14/2008 06:21:00 AM

deadhead

running with scissors is hilarious but the winner takes the cake for sure

08/14/2008 06:12:00 AM

pdizz

All are pretty funny. But fifteen and 17 are the funniest. with 2 as a third.

08/14/2008 05:55:00 AM

WilliamE1978

alot of these ideas were good! # 17 if they made that improvement it would really be fun to watch!!!

08/14/2008 05:34:00 AM

Paige

NO CHEESEYPEAS! I demand more variety from Cracked! They need to stop recycling these "superhero" articles.

08/14/2008 05:31:00 AM

Hyuga_masteR

hyuga_master - put the tin foil hat away man the winner deserves the win im surpried the whole list wasnt just female sports but nude naked gymnastics (female only) would be the real event tho

08/14/2008 05:31:00 AM

Fury-S12

Hyuga_masteR... please, hush.

08/14/2008 05:26:00 AM

cheeseypeas

The two last ones are really da best! I think we could get those criminals that would be executed anyway or be pemanently in prison and make a Unreal Tournament-like thing in the Olympics! With Rubber Bullets, so people can get shot more times before they die! Oh, and Showdown at High Noon in the Olympics for the win, too!

08/14/2008 05:22:00 AM

Slaughter

Hey, i have a question. Sure a lot of people entered this photoshop contest, but what if the winner is Cracked itself? Therefore nobody wins, but Cracked gets to present all these entries for free?

08/14/2008 05:17:00 AM

Hyuga_masteR

king_monkey shut up! You're lame remember? But you have a point. Cracked itself seems to be starting to slack off...figures one of the few interesting article doesn't come from Cracked...

08/14/2008 05:15:00 AM

Hyuga_masteR

I find wrestling is a parody in itself. I mean, isn't it an obvious excuse for guys to touch eachother?

08/14/2008 05:12:00 AM

Hyuga_masteR

These photoshops were actually pretty funny. I expected things to go not so well after the past couple of weeks, but Congrats Cracked Readers! You surprised me again!

08/14/2008 05:11:00 AM

king_monkey

#15 is awesome

08/14/2008 05:04:00 AM

Xoferif

it is so easy to snatch first and ruin all your lives! mwuahhahahahah

08/14/2008 05:01:00 AM

Hyuga_masteR