20 Jobs Too Awesome to Exist

this was hilarious, but i am getting sick of all the people who make fun of the poor quality of the photo shops. news flash: its not supposed to be art! its just supposed to present a funny idea! seriously though, this was a very funny contest.

10/17/2009 04:57:05 PM

arbitrary

love the buddy christ

07/03/2009 06:04:00 PM

KMajew

9 is hilarious.

09/13/2008 05:02:00 AM

Isshiah

19 was easiest the funniest one.

08/30/2008 07:13:00 AM

Synorbs

This was close to home. I did almost all of those things back when i worked as a "fluffer" for the biz. Now thats a job you could be proud to tell your kids.

07/28/2008 11:51:00 AM

DirtyD

It's an ass-y thing just to make fun of pictures people made. I still love you though.

07/16/2008 07:12:00 PM

Malhal

Malhal, just because some people tend to put effort into pictures doesn't give you the right to be an ass.

07/14/2008 05:13:00 PM

jaylewis

#5 That guy has really long arms.

06/27/2008 01:29:00 AM

Aurelio

haha, as far as good humor goes, both the "president of the moon and space" one and the fighter pilot flying that dog thing from neverending story are tops. as far as actual skill in photoshop goes, however....

06/26/2008 06:08:00 PM

biji

Man that last one actually made me laugh out loud... brilliant facial expression! :D

06/26/2008 04:20:00 PM

Gortrok

hahah fat chicks! the pillow fight is nice, but i think the pillow needs a thumbs up.

06/25/2008 07:23:00 AM

classybroad

IM GAY AND FAT AND UGLY! I LIKE DONUTS

06/24/2008 08:16:00 PM

Fuglyfatwhore

Jaylewis has caught us! Everyone sucks at making pictures and having the overexpensive photoshop will instantly make us pros! I'm going to cry for hours now. :(

06/24/2008 03:37:00 AM

Malhal

And why do these all look like they were made in MS Paint? Ever heard of Photoshop?

06/23/2008 09:06:00 PM

jaylewis

Hey Goatboy... interesting that you can pick gay people out from comments, you must be an expert. Is THAT your job? http://hoseramaville.myminicity.com/tra

06/22/2008 04:49:00 AM

Defenseman13

[seems most of the people that comment on here are gay. number 1 is the best job] You know, calling everybody else gay is one of the first signs that you yourself are gay. That, and masturbating to chicks who look like 14-year old boys.

06/21/2008 08:14:00 PM

GoatBoy

Nathan Fillion can do anything. ANYTHING.

06/21/2008 09:33:00 AM

Malhal

about those "simpsons did it" comments, i made it as a refferance to the simpsons, not to copy them

06/21/2008 05:07:00 AM

mcsuperawesome

Professional boob massagers actually exist so it shouldn't count.

06/20/2008 07:09:00 PM

Zuul

That is Nathan Fillion in #16, and eerily (and geekily) enough I was actually at the convention where that was taken...Great guy...not sure how he'd do with sushi tho!

06/20/2008 03:19:00 PM

Amy_Lou

those are all great, BUT if i have to nitpick, in that simpsons episode i believe it's the "fireworks CANDY and puppy dog store". slides are fun, too.

06/20/2008 01:02:00 PM

nsr

I would have chosen #3 as the winner.

06/20/2008 12:32:00 PM

cronqvist

IMO, #7 and #10 were the best. Why is #1 always a relatively crappy choice?

06/20/2008 11:05:00 AM

AsianBorat

If the mini-skirts fail the inspection, do the have to come off immediately?

06/20/2008 09:53:00 AM

nailbender1979

14 FOR ALL NIGHT SHIFTS AND #10 FOR ALL DAY!

06/20/2008 08:32:00 AM

AGENTAXL

Where is Beach Volleyball? They even got a rule for the clothing ( including the women�s slips hehehe) I here in germany like to watch this naked.. You knwo why..

06/20/2008 06:22:00 AM

wreckit

Oh dear lord, what a fucking hilarious article, from the Lil Jon songwriter I just thought that EVERY one should have won! Keep up the good work guys!

06/20/2008 03:56:00 AM

GregHunt

drman321, you caught me... But it was eighter MS Paint or AutoCad, so I'm screwed anyways

06/20/2008 03:49:00 AM

Veiko

#7's great, but maybe replace Dane Cook with Carlos Mencia, they're both toolbags but Carlos out-tools 9 times out of 10

06/19/2008 11:29:00 PM

theaccount77

#5 was a "Simpsons" ripoff.

06/19/2008 11:22:00 PM

crimson_89

I love number 1, but I laughed more for 13. When it comes to best job though, there is no way I'd pass up #4.

06/19/2008 10:31:00 PM

Kondoor88

I had the funniest reaction to #2. 'That guy's insurance rates must be a bitch.'

06/19/2008 09:49:00 PM

BakNBlack

seems most of the people that comment on here are gay. number 1 is the best job

06/19/2008 07:55:00 PM

davo

Meh.

06/19/2008 07:10:00 PM

Blackrifice

Well, it's not like it's my decision or anything, but number 1 was pretty uncreative compared to the runners up. Numbers 3, 4, and 5 all required more thought than "boobs."

06/19/2008 07:00:00 PM

Caspian

I feel that #5, working at the Fireworks & Slide & Puppy Dog factory should of won. That made me laugh more than the rest.

06/19/2008 06:58:00 PM

Dwarf_Woot

Dinosaur rodeo would be awesome.

06/19/2008 06:41:00 PM

Andrewski

I thought there actuually are professional boob massagers Because when they made the boob massaging robot they said imitates the techniques of professional boob massagers.

06/19/2008 06:26:00 PM

Zuul

8, 13, 18. Number one is terrible.

06/19/2008 06:25:00 PM

JakeZula

lol #15 hilarious

06/19/2008 05:52:00 PM

9191erik

Number 8 was my favorite.

06/19/2008 05:14:00 PM

Bakudai

Wait, job #17 actually DOES exist. I should know, it's my job. And yes, I am lazy. Check the shelves at yr local porn shop for "Pacific Rimmers" and "Deep Cuntry", hitting shelves this fall ;)

06/19/2008 04:02:00 PM

deanerboy

#2 doesn't really fit the theme. Is cleaning up alien poo really an awesome job?

06/19/2008 03:40:00 PM

boone

if only i had the job in #7.

06/19/2008 03:04:00 PM

the.melsa

#10! YES!

06/19/2008 02:52:00 PM

Icalasari

It possibly is.

06/19/2008 01:19:00 PM

Malhal

props to #9

06/19/2008 12:52:00 PM

milla_time

Best job ever: Darwin Enforcer. Cleaning up what natural selection left behind.

06/19/2008 12:51:00 PM

themadtexan

#6 belongs way behind all the other boob-oriented ones.

06/19/2008 11:56:00 AM

HumDrum

#11 just looks akward & creepy.

06/19/2008 11:34:00 AM

checkminus

yay #5

06/19/2008 10:29:00 AM

EcricircE

#1 is ausome, I would love to be Frankie Munez

06/19/2008 10:07:00 AM

MrBallistic

1) Is that Nathan Fillion in #16? 2) the girls in #1 look like dudes in drag. I'm pretty sure they're tucking something away there.

06/19/2008 10:05:00 AM

GoatBoy

So...this was a contest to see who can put the least amount of creativity and effort into their entry and then reward them with money? Up is down, I guess.

06/19/2008 10:00:00 AM

AtomicSpike

I don't understand why Lord Cownostril's Beer-Naught isn't in there. Fairly novel idea that was very well executed. #15 is quality.

06/19/2008 09:49:00 AM

Justintoxicated

i loved the umpa lumpa one! i would love to dance with little slaves all day long... erm please, dont take that the wrong way people!

06/19/2008 09:47:00 AM

boogie

the oompa loompa job would suck! they are basically slaves.

06/19/2008 08:58:00 AM

Gemineye870530

LOL, the Boob Massage sounds preeety good to me. Where do I sign? http://www.Privacy-center.net

06/19/2008 08:56:00 AM

RedFoxOne

17 and 15 should be higher, even though they probably took 2 mins in MS Paint, they are far more clever than some others.

06/19/2008 08:24:00 AM

flarp95

@ Michael: 17: Porn Movie Title Writer 15: Crunk lyrics writed 14: Professional Touring Guitar Hero player 11: Oompah Loompah (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)

06/19/2008 07:49:00 AM

boone

congrats #20, 17, and 15 on your ability to place whilst using MS Paint

06/19/2008 07:46:00 AM

drman321

i agree with jackrabbit

06/19/2008 07:42:00 AM

mihai

HAHAHA #5 is wicked

06/19/2008 07:38:00 AM

zoltan

don't judge me, but 19 is by far my favorite one.just wonderful memories from that movie. also, the woman in #2 is not wearing nearly enough armor.

06/19/2008 07:26:00 AM

hisownspace

Another week, another photoshop contest, another let down.

06/19/2008 07:23:00 AM

Iicurgo

Really sorry to do this, but #5 is a Simpsons rip off.

06/19/2008 07:22:00 AM

billynomates

I'm kinda sad that the Grammar Police one didn't make the cut. I'd sign up with them in a heartbeat, even if it involved the use of excessive force and the consumption of donuts. Really, I'd make those sacrifices.

06/19/2008 07:09:00 AM

LummoxJR

I can't believe Verifier of Chuck Norris Facts wasn't even mentioned. I literally lol'd at that, and I never say lol unless I actually do it.

06/19/2008 07:06:00 AM

puckbunny

How about the coochie doctor from the Bunny Ranch? Real job, but is it good or bad? I guess it all depends on the cooches you're working with.

06/19/2008 06:57:00 AM

BearMan

I'd sooner kill Dane Cook before taking care of Paris Hilton.

06/19/2008 06:36:00 AM

gladeplugins

#11 was my favourite. the look on the guys face... #17 was pretty funny, too.

06/19/2008 06:31:00 AM

Zoe

Number 2. Pure awesomeness. The crap coming out of the aliens ass was genius.

06/19/2008 06:05:00 AM

CorthNech

Number 7 is my favorite. I'll take Paris for the block

06/19/2008 05:48:00 AM

jackrabbit

I am a sexy big girl and I am a makeup artist. I also work as a part-time BBW model for hot dating club ___PlusMeet.com___, where so many big beautiful women, big boobs women, big booty women and big nice guys mingle and seek fun&love together! It's very cool to be a model and I have many admirers at plusmeet.com, I just feel I am the queen!

06/19/2008 05:37:00 AM

sexybigmesexy

"17 15 14 and 11 i do not get." 17: Coming up with titles for porn movies. 15: Writing songs for Lil' John. 14: Being a professional Guitar Hero player. 11: Being an Oompa Loompa I guess.

06/19/2008 05:27:00 AM