The 25 Most Horribly Ill-Conceived Breakfast Cereal Ideas

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE the Korn Flakes hahahaah also the Racist Cripies I think it was the name and the Cocoa Puffs xD

11/19/2009 12:12:23 PM

Hikaru-chan

Great job BlairlyThere! That was awesome.

09/21/2009 10:58:08 PM

ChibiLi

Cream of Skeet was the best! Bad Shit and Felacios were great too.

09/11/2009 11:43:06 PM

karkakeahi

For those of you that don�t know, 23 is a Happy Gilmore reference.

06/30/2009 01:32:00 AM

watchmaker38

19, 16, 14, and 13 all should have been further up teh lisht *poop*

10/17/2008 01:43:00 PM

queenbananas

Cenobites should've been closer to number one. If for no other reason than that would be a horrible, horrible, horrible breakfast cereal.

10/11/2008 01:53:00 AM

BilBluesBaggins

Heh Racist Krispies,for the aspiring klansmen!

09/28/2008 10:32:00 AM

necroarkhe

How did Shredded Meat not make it farther down on the list? Props to that guy.

09/18/2008 07:26:00 PM

lafillepirate

Honestly, number two should've won.

09/02/2008 10:23:00 AM

Tartra

rascist krispies, what the fuck is with the nascar? it is funny though,

07/30/2008 11:49:00 AM

willyhassertt

rascist krispies, what the fuck is with the nascar? it is funny though,

07/30/2008 11:49:00 AM

willyhassertt

Well Kala maybe thats because you have a poop fetish, I don't know why you picked Linda Lovelace,#19. I think Lily Allen would've been a better choice

07/01/2008 10:36:00 PM

lucylikeyeah

Number 23 definitely deserved the money.

05/17/2008 05:57:00 PM

Kala

My guitar teacher was in manowar... Oh and 23 is amazing!

05/07/2008 05:37:00 PM

griffmanr

I still think "Bad Shit" was the funniest entry- it was the only one that made me laugh.

04/27/2008 11:46:00 AM

SiXELA295

Manoflakes and bodyoil.. a match made in heaven.

04/09/2008 08:48:00 AM

Gianna

Cream of Skeet was the only one that almost made me get into trouble for laughing at the office.

04/08/2008 02:51:00 PM

Lyle990

as ridiculously funny as P-Diddy is, #11 and #23 were still the only ones that made actual urine shoot out my nose. they, therefore deserve the 50 bucks.

04/07/2008 03:56:00 PM

the.melsa

I'm not surprised that mine didn't make it, but I'm blown away that "Oedipus Chex" was overlooked. Also. Future Munch > Puffy Combs

04/07/2008 01:29:00 PM

natalieclaire

100! That's how many times I farted.

04/07/2008 12:00:00 PM

Onodera

I farted.

04/07/2008 11:59:00 AM

Onodera

#23 is the best easy

04/07/2008 07:16:00 AM

Mighty

The Manoflakes box didn't even have the slogan printed: Death To False Breakfast!

04/06/2008 09:07:00 PM

jesusschwartz

i think 23 deserves the number 1 spot. fucking BRILLIANT! i amost sharted from laughter

04/06/2008 06:37:00 PM

dukemaskot

Honey Bunches of Hot Pockets! Guaranteed to give you bunches of hot diarrhea, too! Way great! Wendy's Baconator Crunch is cool, too. Sounds like what my husband would eat for breakfast, if he did, indeed eat breakfast.

04/06/2008 03:46:00 PM

CJsADetroiter

KORN FLAKES xD

04/06/2008 02:13:00 PM

therisingpuma

heh, that one guy argued that a reference to ron jeremy's testicles was more high brow than a reference to eating human feces. now THAT is classic cracked comedy.

04/05/2008 06:13:00 PM

anlight

Oh yeah, I wanted to say that who ever did the Popfarts entry (with the cabbage). That was awesome work! Great photoshop skills. :) I can't believe that one didn't get accepted.

04/05/2008 04:27:00 PM

eltrut

BACKTOWACKY, I understand what you are saying. What I meant was that I belonged to several different Photoshop contest sites and the members always get too serious. It always ends up in a big mess of drama. Henced why I belongED to thos sites. But I see what you mean. If these aren't serious photoshop contests (which clearly they aren't by the talent seen Haha) then I guess they should let everyone have their name in lights once in a while. :) Oh, I did submit 2 entries and only was accepted. I thought the other one would make it too.

04/05/2008 04:24:00 PM

eltrut

I also like some of the wierd ones like "Rice Kris Kristofferson Krispies."

04/05/2008 10:08:00 AM

BACKTOWACKY

Also, I cannot spell.

04/05/2008 10:06:00 AM

Bockscar

The first two reader's contests were great, I enjoyed them immensely. Since then, the standard has declined rapidly, and only two of these articles even got a slight smile from me. The fact that #1 is the least amusing one is a recurring trend that seems to mustify the entirety of the audience.

04/05/2008 10:06:00 AM

Bockscar

Can t make everyone happy, but tgr10 and eltrut, I think the point is, you BOTH had entries ACCEPTED (tgr10 had two entries) so of course you're happy. It's not about taking it too seriously, as much as it is maybe letting some readers who get really into it & submit every week, one MERCY POSTING once in a while. It's a readers submission website and since this isn't a serious photoshop contest, than don t have the SAME people with multiple entries every week and have the same people left out. Let's face it, many that didn't make it, could've been slipped in and it wouldn't have made a difference, they were funny. People would have been doing masturbation cartwheels just to see there stuff online at all, -as long as its funny. Who wants to submit to a website that asks for submissions, but posts the same people all the time? tgr10 and eltrut both a had awesome entries though.

04/05/2008 10:01:00 AM

BACKTOWACKY

Come on! It should have been the Linda Lovelace Fellatios!

04/05/2008 08:45:00 AM

Schminky

I'm just happy that some of you laughed at my "cream of skeet' entry. Let's not turn this into one of those photoshop contest sites. I've been there, done that. We have to remember why we visit this site in the first place. To smile or have a laugh. Let's not get too serious and ruin that. :)

04/05/2008 03:34:00 AM

eltrut

Guys. Puffy Combs is funny. Maybe not the funniest entry (that would be Cream of Skeet, easily), but it's worth 50 bucks. The Cracked judges should choose whatever they think is the funniest, regardless of if the guy won last week. It's their website. Claypots, though I don't want to incur the wrath of your avatar, your Blue Balls thing was funny. But it was submitted after Linda Lace's Fellatios, which gets a similar point across. And gives us a nice jizz joke. That all being said, I'm disappointed Sandra Oh's didn't get on the list. That shit was H-larious.

04/05/2008 01:57:00 AM

tgr10

Manoflakes = awesome. That's some badass cereal there...

04/05/2008 12:47:00 AM

malamute84

Future Munch is the best...so morbid. Rasberry Berets and Jalapenos are good too.

04/04/2008 11:13:00 PM

averagejoesgym

wtf Jenna? Not sure what you're talking about so I'll just bypass any of that. But to clarify on some points - does anybody want to argue with the fact that the title of this contest was "Horibley Ill Conceived Breakfast ideas" and while some entries are quite cool - how far are they from actually being "horrible" and "ill conceived?" So to go back to an earlier criticism of my Ron Jeremy's Blue Balls Post - that surely fits the bill for this comp doesn't it? Though maybe if I'd dumbed it down a bit and posted a complete no brainer like "SHIT-In-A-BOX" I probably would have got me top billing. Anyways. I think this is a great comp with real potential but wonder if the guidelines need to be made clearer? like one of mine was deleted, probably for being Too horrible and Too ill Conceived. It definitely wasn't oversized.

04/04/2008 09:57:00 PM

claypots

Shredded meat -- classic!

04/04/2008 08:44:00 PM

bcanders

@Billy Goat: "Deth" Cereal WAS pretty funny.

04/04/2008 08:08:00 PM

BACKTOWACKY

Number 13 "Bad Shit" did make me laugh out loud. "who are they they are skiing why are they all skiing..." I submitted FOUR entries, and at least one of them was... well... not-bad. And NONE of them made the list? I parodied WEETABIX, dammit!

04/04/2008 07:10:00 PM

Billy Goat

Shredded meat is solid gold, I'd eat it. Does come in pork, beef and chicken?

04/04/2008 05:34:00 PM

Yuckmouth

I wonder how my "Cream of Felch" would have done had I bothered to actually follow up on that idea. Anyway.. as far as the "Amerciancentricity" concept goes rest assured it really just kinda worked out that way as opposed to being some kind of plot. Should you happen to think it actually IS some kind of plot I wonder if you'd be so kind as to let me raid your medicine cabinet. There's likely something in there that will greatly improve my odds of getting laid this weekend.

04/04/2008 04:36:00 PM

Jenna_Tullwortz

puffy combs... are the shit

04/04/2008 04:09:00 PM

hawgfan

funny stuff!

04/04/2008 04:09:00 PM

hooperX101

Cool Ranch Cheerios should've won, as it was the only one that actually took the idea seriously.

04/04/2008 02:06:00 PM

Kilvas

#8 and #3 were my favorites.

04/04/2008 01:25:00 PM

nchammer326

Public service Bitch-Crying announcement: I wouldn t want to have to judge so many submissions in a pretty competitive field; its gotta be brutal to have to make those unkind cuts. However I think Claypots has a point about discouraging people who submit a lot. Now, all the entries were REALLY GOOD so I can t complain, but& how about being gracious and letting some outsiders get their names up in lights besides the usual suspects? It kinda gets your readers jacked-up during the week to get the chance to see their stuff up on their favorite, website; depraved, Hi-larious, deranged Cracked.com. You could maybe let someone else get their submission up the for the sake of goodwill, and let Sanchez (who did have really good submissions [Future Munch awesome.] -but twice?) and some of you others, have just ONE submission instead of a couple EVERY contest. There was enough talent out there to put someone else up besides_______(Well, no bad-mouthing anyone here.) If you are g

04/04/2008 12:40:00 PM

BACKTOWACKY

nevermind i just found out that they are retarded

04/04/2008 10:56:00 AM

j mcfarl3

can someone explain the cenobite reference?

04/04/2008 10:48:00 AM

j mcfarl3

Favs: Potat-o's and cenobites!

04/04/2008 10:19:00 AM

EcricircE

28, 19, 11, & 2. The winner didn't make me laugh in the least.

04/04/2008 10:18:00 AM

iscott

Yup yup. The first page held the best entries in my opinion. Cenobites FTW!

04/04/2008 09:21:00 AM

redfoot

I have to agree. The winner was the only one that didn't make me laugh. The rest of them had people at work wondering if I was suffering an epileptic fit.

04/04/2008 08:45:00 AM

BarnabyJones

Shouldn't the winner, you know, be the best?

04/04/2008 08:41:00 AM

Firecrotch

When I say juvenile I mean for the young, not immature. I gotta say that when you look at the ones that made the list a lot (not all) are pretty low in wit and high on pop references aimed more at mass culture clones. Sorry to a number of entries that happened to show some real talent but a lot of these winning subs (past and present) demonstrate not only the complete obvious but have the photoshop execution of a four year old. I don't give a shit about winning, just credit to skill. I think the judging needs to be done differently if this is going to be unbiased. That's my opinion anyway.

04/04/2008 06:28:00 AM

claypots

I love Cream of Skeet. "IT'S WHAT DEM BITCHES CRAVE!!!!"

04/04/2008 06:24:00 AM

hulk67851

linda lovelace. excellent.

04/04/2008 06:10:00 AM

Squish78

LOL...Thanks, Saul_Goode! :D

04/04/2008 06:00:00 AM

eltrut

Big ups to eltrut. Cream of Skeet is the dopest entry because, just like Saul, "It's what dem bitches crave."

04/04/2008 05:28:00 AM

Saul Goode

@claypots: you submitted an entry about Ron Jeremy's blue balls, and then you call these other entries juvenile? Not only are you pleasant, you totally aren't a hypocrite either.

04/04/2008 04:54:00 AM

Glenn

Fuck Yes! MANOFLAKES!

04/04/2008 04:48:00 AM

ThundrousWeapon

The winner of the "Celebrity Endorsed Products Too Awesome To Exist" contest ought to be Raspberry Berets. That's fucking awesome.

04/04/2008 04:35:00 AM

DrFreakazoid

the cream of skeet factory sounds like a horrible place.

04/04/2008 03:16:00 AM

wuzzman16

Cool Ranch Cheerios sounds like a cheap-ass cereal you'd find at a dollar store.

04/04/2008 02:10:00 AM

PopsicleStix

I'm with you on that Speedoman. It's very Americocentric and also pretty juvenile I gotta say. I'd also love to know why one of mine was deleted from the comp? Explain yourselves Cracked...

04/04/2008 01:39:00 AM

claypots

Alright Lisha - go see and judge for yourself. I'm happy to back myself.

04/04/2008 01:31:00 AM

claypots

Ok, I finally got it that without a pop culture reference on the picture, you don't stand much chance in these contest thingies. Damn, as a foreigner, I don't even understand half of the jokes ^^ But future munch is a nice one

04/04/2008 01:10:00 AM

Speedomon

This has got to be the least funny Photoshop contest to date, and it's only made worse by the fact that Puffy Combs might be the lamest entry here yet it still won.

04/04/2008 12:05:00 AM

Nift

I suggested that idea. Hell yeah!

04/03/2008 11:09:00 PM

MaxProwess

#9, 5, and 3 are the best. And the chutulu one from the archives should have made it. that mood ring joke was priceless.

04/03/2008 10:33:00 PM

vetus

Every time I see "Baconator Crunch" or the "Cenobites" i lose my shit. What's the deal with Puffy Combs? I thought you fuckers wanted to get as far away as the "rip off" thing as possible...

04/03/2008 10:18:00 PM

Screamer

that sweet sweet badasssssss sheeyit should have been victorious

04/03/2008 08:38:00 PM

ekgism

I want the pimpmobile. All four colors. NOW. Also, I wonder if the Colt 45 helps with hangovers. You know, a bowl to take the edge off.

04/03/2008 08:35:00 PM

kimchi&eggrolls

*dick joke starring Hannah Montana* Stole your thunder AnderX

04/03/2008 08:28:00 PM

CodyCastor

Cream of Skeet is by far the funniest shit here. Props to eltrut!!

04/03/2008 08:27:00 PM

WhiteMike0000

Future munch shoulda won imho

04/03/2008 08:18:00 PM

dcicourelh

Puffy Combs was barely a meh. FUTURE MUNCH - now THERE'S a breakfast cereal! The disheartened children are the perfect touch.

04/03/2008 08:14:00 PM

ashes0farose

Tennisman, did it ever occur to you that opinions exist outside your own?

04/03/2008 07:53:00 PM

lindzgrl

*dick joke*

04/03/2008 07:21:00 PM

AnderX

"Shredded Meat" and "Racist Krispies" are just pure evil funny. I love the "Nascar Cap Inside". Puffy Combs is funny, but not 'Neighbors-Hear-Me-Laughing-And-Question-My-Sanity' funny. Oh,and Summarizer: nice attempt at brevity.

04/03/2008 07:04:00 PM

orangemtl

..."You get up and you do shit and you GET SHIT DONE!" By far the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

04/03/2008 06:17:00 PM

TrapserCat

Bad Shit is my favourite by far. The face of that kid is just priceless.

04/03/2008 06:16:00 PM

TheMap

If you think the entries are so terrible, then submit your own damn photo; if not, either do something worthwhile to get a job here to be on the voting staff, or stop whining. Don't write this off as a brown-nosing comment -- I hate everyone.

04/03/2008 06:07:00 PM

BritneysWig

i would definitely buy the "cocoa peebles" cereal if it actually existed...

04/03/2008 06:04:00 PM

thisguyiknow

Holy shit! This was the funniest contest yet. I elled oh ell a few times. Especially on the first page.

04/03/2008 05:55:00 PM

kingmonkey

CRACKED judges are so fucking terrible it's unbelievable. That no. 1 sucked so bad it shouldn't even have made the list. The Photoshop Contest is becoming almost as big a piece of shit as Craptions. At least the articles are still funny and that gives me a reason to come to this site.

04/03/2008 05:54:00 PM

TENNISMAN

I never find this shit funny.

04/03/2008 05:21:00 PM

Laserschlong

"Pieces of Shit" was the clear winner. I'll be laughing about that one for days. I'm laughing right now. Goddamn that's funny.

04/03/2008 05:19:00 PM

Jenna_Tullwortz

Or maybe you just really suck at making a decent entry.

04/03/2008 04:56:00 PM

Lisha

I wont be doing any more of these damned things the judging is so bad.

04/03/2008 04:41:00 PM

claypots

The "Puffy Combs" joke was used as a Ben-N-Jerry's Ice Cream flavour by MAD Magazine a couple years back. Disappointing. But #2 was brilliant and should have won.

04/03/2008 04:26:00 PM

Planet-man

To be honest, i do not find any of them funny. Maybe i do not get pop or culture references. However i would not mind some shredded meat and potato-Os. Good working Farmer's diet. (not that i am a farmer, but it is nice to get back to one's roots now and again)

04/03/2008 03:54:00 PM

MichaelFurlong

Cool, I came in 11th. Skeet Skeet! =P

04/03/2008 03:54:00 PM

eltrut

Racist krispies should have won

04/03/2008 03:41:00 PM

Shade

My favourite was the Shooter McGavin one. What do YOU eat for breakfast? xD

04/03/2008 03:34:00 PM

mariam67

I have never laughed at anything as hard as I laughed at MANOFLAKES. Although you missed the obvious 'Now with 500% of your daily iron requirement!' joke.

04/03/2008 03:24:00 PM

BakNBlack

Pieces of Shit FTW. "I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!" "You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?" "....... NO!"

04/03/2008 03:23:00 PM

Daimonixomai

Are Puffy-Combs just repackaged cereal from some other manufacturer?

04/03/2008 03:05:00 PM

oogabooga

i think if we let readers vote it will be too much like the craptions, first come first serve. But i do agree that usually that the #1 spot has never been the funniest to me.

04/03/2008 02:48:00 PM

EcricircE

I started to design a cereal box with the name Menstr-Oh's, but couldn't continue after viewing the first used-tampon picture I came across. I'm sure it would have won though.

04/03/2008 02:45:00 PM

robotlove

Manoflakes: Definitely my favorite.

04/03/2008 02:08:00 PM

drunkpiano

Hmm, I didn't think my entry would actually be on the second page. But judging by the comments, I'm not sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. =\ Still, I loved some of these entries! Especially the Cool Ranch Cheerios, because it managed to be gross without resorting to dick jokes or potty humor. Racist Krispies was well-done as well.

04/03/2008 01:56:00 PM

HackerOnHacker

Cool Ranch Cheerios made me chuckle. The others not so much. I'm curious as to who the readers would pick in a vote. Someone should set up a poll. (I'm not saying they should win the $50 -- it'd just be interesting to see whether the readers and the editors are on the same wavelength. 'Cause sometimes we're oh-so-obviously not.

04/03/2008 01:55:00 PM

Meatloaf

I think whoever picks the winners of these things needs a sense of humor. The funny stuff is always on the first page and whatever wins is about as creative as a dump truck full of dirt. Maybe you should stop choosing the winner yourself and do it like the vote system from craptions. That way it's a winner who may actually deserve to be paid.

04/03/2008 01:49:00 PM

mono_x

They were all good, in their own way. Even the lamest ones at least got a chuckle out of me. Not a bad collection this week. Judging by which ones made me laugh the hardest, my personal favorite is probably a toss-up between Rice Kris Kristofferson and Colt 45 Malt Breakfast Cereal. I don't know why I find these two as funny as I do, but I finished reading the article a good ten minutes ago, and I'm still giggling like a psychopath. Everyone around me probably thinks I've finally crossed that fine line between harmless eccentricity and dangerous insanity. This should be fun.

04/03/2008 01:38:00 PM

AgamemnonJones

Bosnia Flakes were probably the only ones I laughed out loud at.

04/03/2008 01:35:00 PM

Swede

Shooter McGovern's Pieces Of Shit FTW.

04/03/2008 01:34:00 PM

Wes

Seriously, Puffy Combs won? Come on, Cracked, where'd your funny-o-meter go? Some of these made me guffaw, some made me chuckle, but Puffy Combs didn't even get a wry smile. I freaking registered an account just to express my disappointment, and now I fade into obscurity.

04/03/2008 01:24:00 PM

devlavaca

Because it's made of fucking meat. Yes. I vote either that or Bosnia flakes. They were funny without resorting to 'lololo bodily fluids are gross. poop.'

04/03/2008 01:14:00 PM

Namorgasm

The "Bad Shit" box made me laugh until I almost threw up.

04/03/2008 12:52:00 PM

StoatLad

Oh come on...the future munches are so much better than puffy combs. I mean, they've got a lot of things that puffy combs don't have..like originality, and talent/taste...etc.

04/03/2008 12:51:00 PM