If Valentine's Day Cards Told The Truth

Men and women tell each other that honesty is the most important part of a relationship, but everyone knows that's bullshit. Otherwise, these cards would exist.
If Valentine's Day Cards Told The Truth

Men and women tell each other that honesty is the most important part of a relationship, which is itself a lie. Men want their wife to tell them she's never been with a lover who rocked her world quite so violently. Women want their husband to tell them ... whatever the hell it is women want to hear.

We asked you to use our article from a few years back as inspiration, and show us what Valentine's Day Cards would look like if they were actually honest. The winner is below, but first the runners up ...

BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOO- CHO CHOOSER! HAPPY VALENTINES CRACKED.CoM
f love you because.. you are kind, and loving, and smart. Because you are beautiful and fanny. Because talk we can about any ything, and laagh togethe
W CRACKED.COM Hey Hand. Thanks for everything. H aypy Valentine's Day XOXO
J bought you these bith roses money that Is received rom selling those videos we Happy made. Oalentines Day! CRACKED.COM
CRACKED HOM happy nalentines day i bought you card because 4 didi't, a i woul be mad you at me and make me feel like shit though last enen week you sa
CRACKED. COMD Lets Stay Together ...As J've outgrown ace my dating clothes.
MINE! BEEP OR THEIL NEVER FIND YOUR BODY. Love! Peterson pith Drew CRACKED.cOM Sgt.
I have no idea what it says in here. It was the only card at the dollar store that had puppies on the front of it. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! CRACKED.cOM
CRACKED.cOM Happy valentines! Whoa, what's You have CHIRPES?! Herpes! A CANARIAL disease. IS it Tweetable? Ha, No.
RoseS are Red Violets are Purple See? CRACKED COM
CRACKED. COM 1I Love You BEARY Much! I sit two seats back and one to the left of you in your biology class, and I sit one seat ahead of you in English
love U L tegether iT tRU S your broter has a BOX APAI CRACKED.COM
AAAAAA W dnt 2 CRACKED.cOM
To fanefid mEy second husfand nights I lie awake whor you Some You've been generous and kind Are sleeping fy my side In could have beent every way qui
Saral, Rachel, You're my one true Love. t Love everything about curly you--your. hlerate hair, green bltte eyes, Loraglegs... fun personality... Yours

The academy awards are coming up later this month, so this week you'll be using Photoshop to depict scenes they cut from previous Oscar nominees that would have changed the film in some hopefully hilarious way had they been left in. The best photoshop gets $50.

Post your entries in the contest thread. Winner gets $50.

If you'd like to see the entries from this week that didn't make it, see them here. Or, check out some Things You Never Noticed in Famous Pictures. And for pictures too strange to make up, but not too strange to make fun of, check out The Daily Craption Contest.

Got an idea for a future Cracked photoshop contest? Let us know.

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