Urban Legends About Alcohol (That Are Complete B.S.)

These myths were probably all conjured up by people who were totally plastered.
Urban Legends About Alcohol (That Are Complete B.S.)

We can blame the news or television or Hollywood for a lot of the nonsense we believe about alcohol and its effects on our meatbags. But those mediums just perpetuate the myths -- we're pretty sure the source of all of these myths was someone who was just totally shitfaced.

As always, thanks to AuntieMeme for the voodoo she works putting these together.

MYTH: DRINK COFFEE TO SOBER UP. FACTE COFFEE JusT MAKes you An ALERT DRuNK. Coffee is a stimulant, while alcohol is a depressant. The caffeine will ma
MYTH8 TAKE An ASPIRIN BEFORE DRINKING TO PReVENT A HANGOVER. FACT8 ASPIRIN mAkes you DRUNKER FOR LONGER. A study by the American Medical Association f
MYTH8 Beer BEFORE LIQUOR, NeveR SICKER; LIQUOR BEFORE BEER, YOURE in THE CLEAR. FACT8 DRINK oRDeR MAkes no DIFFeRENCE. Drinking four beers and four sh
MYTH: RED wine GOES WITH RED MEAT, And WHITE GOES WITH FISH. FAGT8 IT DepENDS on THE FLAVORS. Wine experts have conducted scientific studies, and they
MYTH: one DRINK peR HOUR And YOULL BE FINE TO DRIVE Home. 12 PO 2 8 .76 5 CUANTZ brilllis FACT8 A DRINK TAKES TWO HOURS TO WEAR OFF. A 12-ounce bottle
MYTH8 TO LOSE WEIGHT, cuT out ALCOHOL 2 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 FAGT8 women WHO DRINK ARE LESS LIKELY TO Be OBeSE. Studies have shown that women who c
MYTH: American BEeR IS WEAK. FAGT8 IT'S JUsT measured DIFFERENTLY FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD. Most countries measure beer alcohol percentage by volume
MYTH: VITAmIN B WILL CURE A HANGOVER. FAGT8 VITAmInS DON'T WORK on ALCOHOL. Whether you try injections the night before or popping pills the morning a
MYTH8: A GOOD BARF WILL SOBER you UP. FACTE ALCOHOL IS ALREADY In your sYSTem BY THE TIME YoU vomIT. Alcohol absorption works by way of simple diffusi
MYTH: PASSED-OUT BUDDY? LeT THeM SLEEP. FAGT8 KeeP An eye on A SLeEPING DRunK. Shitfaced drunk people have a habit of vomiting, and if they're lying o
MYTH8 UNDeRAge DRINKING IS An ePIDeMIC. FAGT8 TEENAGe DRINKING IS AT An ALL-TImE LOW. The number of teens who abused alcohol dropped by a whopping two
MYTH8 THE OLDER THE WInE, THE BETTER IT IS. FACT8 MOST wInes ARe BEST WITHIN A YEAR OR TWO OF BOTTLING. There are some rare exceptions, but most wines
MYTHB A nice NIGHTCAP WALL HELP YoU SLEEP. FAGT8 IT'LL RuIn HALF YOUr NiGHT. Scientists have found that while an alcoholic drink at bedtime will help
MYTH8 LIGHT BeeR IS GOOD FOR you. RE FAGT8 YOU'LL DRINK more OF IT. Because light beer contains less alcohol and fewer calories than regular beer, peo
MYTH8 THERE IS no CURE FOR AHANGOVER. FACT: A BACON SANDWICH HELPS. British scientists have said that a bacon sandwich will cure a hangover. The bread
MYTH8 ALCOHOL KeePS YoU WARm. FACT8 IT Just MAkes YoU THINKYOU'RE WARm. Alcohol makes you feel warm (and turn beet red) because it causes your blood v
MYTH8 Hung OveR? HAVE A DRINK. FAGT8 THE HAIR OF THE DOG WOn'T unBite You. It's a common myth-the best way to recover from a regrettable night of drin
MYTH8 ALCOHOL +- EneRgy DRINKS= E DRUNKER IA 380 eCBu| DRY THEF SIXT O FILTA ENER GY LaLMOND FACT: you DRINK more BECAuSE YoU FEEL LESS DRunK. Mixing
MYTH: DARKER DRINKS ARE HEALTHIER. FACT8 DARK DRINKS GIVE YoU A WORSE HANGOVER. While it's true that red wines and darker beers generally have more an
MYTH: You cAn BEAT A BREATHALYZERT TEST. 0.052 Matcohawe: FACT8 BREATHALYZERS ARE UNFAKEABLE. All the fake-outs, from eating mustard to burping to hyp
MYTH8 BREAK THE SEAL And YOULL BE in THE JOHN ALL NIGHT. FAGT8 IT DoESN'T MATTER HOW LONG you WAIT. It's a myth that once you make that first bathroom
MYTH8 BeeR GIVES you ABIG BELLY. FAGT8 SCIENTISTS HAVE FouND no LINK beTween BeeR DRINKING And THE BeeR BELLY. Abdominal obesity has everything to do
MYTH: An ALCOHOLICI IS A peRson WHO DRINKS TOO MUcH. FAGT8 An ALCOHOLIC MIGHT not DRINK AT ALL. It's never healthy to binge-drink, but a person who dr
MYTH8 ABSINTHE MAkes YoU TRIP BALLS. FAGT8 ABSINTHE IS STRONG, BUT IT DoESN'T Make YOU HALLUCINATE. The potentially toxic/hallucinogenic thujone that
MYTH: ALCOHOL KILLS BRAIN CELLS! FACT8 IT JUsT IMPAIRS THEM FOR A WHILE. According to scientific studies, the dopiness associated with being drunk has

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