19 Jobs Too Awesome to Exist

Not the ones that help achieve the stated goals on your resume. The ones you wanted when you were five, before you found out they didn't exist.
19 Jobs Too Awesome to Exist

As far as real jobs go, being a member of the Cracked Editorial Staff is probably as good as it gets. We get paid in truckloads of gold, each editor has a small (but fierce) army of Super Models at his disposal, and very little work actually gets done, if you know what we mean. (We don't do any work.) We did some checking around and confirmed it: We officially have the greatest jobs on the planet.

Which got us thinking: What kind of job would be so appealing that we'd actually leave this life of fame, riches and near constant sexcapades behind?

We asked you to photoshop some examples of jobs that, if they were real, might actually be better than being a Cracked Editor, and offered $50 to the best. The winner is below, but first the runners-up:

Boob Mlassage 413-57945556 Teen Boob therapist WANTED CRACKED.COM
CRACKED.com ENEMY ISIN SIGHT. NOW WE JUST NEED A LITTLE LUCK.
OF tHE PRESRENT MOON x i THE OF AND SEAL 3 TIF MOOY CRACKED.com
CRACKED COM RONIPNCING THE BONE FILL. BILL ENDOLESS HLNINIER SCHINDLER'S FIST
19 Jobs Too Awesome to Exist
Lil' New Jon Song #52 YEAB! OKAY WHaAt?!! Seyuh! tittie s SGre CRACKED.COM
NOKIA New GUUCIR Year's Eve HRD 3:1-49-B NVOICIA New Yeart ve CRACKED.COM
19 Jobs Too Awesome to Exist
CRACKED.COM PIZZA SSS
19 Jobs Too Awesome to Exist
AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF MINISKIRT CERTIFIERS 99 PASS CRACKED.com
CRACKED.cOM L5 ANOWORM ANDPRIX FINISH
Hmm... Who's Next...? CRACKED.cOM
CRACKED.COM HOOTERS RESTAURANT PHYSICIAN
CRACKED.COM FIREWORKS & SLIDE & PUPPY DOG FACTORY MANAGER
CRACKED.COM
OHNE DtA Metom ou MIDW HTHHI CRACKED.coM
19 Jobs Too Awesome to Exist
19 Jobs Too Awesome to Exist

Forget the barbed wire and Chinese characters everybody gets these days, what would tattoos be like in a world where tattoos had to tell the brutally honest truth?

Post entries in the forums.

Got an idea for a future Cracked photoshop contest? Let us know.

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