I'm absolutely not proven to be real as of this publication, but experts armed with some DNA are working on it. Bigfoot claims to have seen me, while a deer claims to have carved some fake skate shoes out of a log and is hoaxing my "alleged" footprints in various wilderness areas including, yet totally not limited to high quality marijuana patches, and flea markets.
My hobbies include abducting aliens, and having fake-ass intellectual conversations with really hot chicks whom I have no hope in hell of ever fucking.

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