sorenbowie4lyf Cracked photo
  • Real Name: Uncle Franketta
  • Location: Soren's Closet/Walls
  • Member Since: July 15th, 2012 02:07 am
  • Last Seen: August 7th, 2012 06:45 am
  • Personal tag line: One day you will LOVE ME!!
  • Message board posts

About sorenbowie4lyf

I spend my time wandering around naked in Soren's home when he's at work. I clean and dust everything, and collect the dust in an airtight bag. Later I use it as seasoning on anything I steal from his fridge, because I've read that 90% of dust is your dead skin cells. And if I can consume enough of Soren's skin cells, I might one day unlock the secret regenerative power they hold.
I don't eat much though, because I know from what I've seen from my position in his walls that he prefers his sexual conquests to be light enough to throw around the room during intercourse. Also, it's easier to move around inside the walls if I'm thin and greased with his toilet water. (I love it when he forgets to flush, boys are so cute)

Some might call me creepy, but I stand by my resolve at being the person in this world that loves Soren the most. I would do ANYTHING for him.

Just to clarify, the disappearance of every pet and a few of the more serious romantic conquests of his has NOTHING to do with me. That's not what I meant by devoted.


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