Im an 22 year old virgin who recently died and ended up in hell. How did I end up in hell you might ask, well I was never a religious man so they gave me a choice. I was to check out all the opportunities for the afterlife and choose one, I was leaning towards valhalla, but then I met L.Ron Hubbard in hell. He spoke to me like no one has ever done to me before ripping apart every layer of my brain until I realised that this was the place to bee. His influence down here is so great that he even got me a computer, he seems to be good friends with the big guy himself. When I asked him about this he said something about bringing hell to earth, but I did not really catch all of it as his pure awesomeness always strikes me deaf blind and dumb. Anyways im here to spread the word to all you nonbelievers at cracked.com scientology rocks, they even got their own special place down here.

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