I like bacon.
I have a vagina.
Twelve steps aren't nearly enough to cure me of my coffee addiction.
I taught chimneys how to smoke.
The ellipsis is my favorite piece of punctuation...I'm not immune, however, to the beguiling charm of a well-placed semicolon.
Birds and horses scare the shit outta me.
I manage a day spa and salon. Perks include daily hormonal dramatics; surprise contact with the pubes of total strangers; getting to tell grown-ass women to stop running with scissors; implicit permission to be incredibly vain; and great fkn hair.
I am late for everything. Always. Consider this a preemptive apology.
My favorite book is the (unabridged) dictionary.
I'm very good at falling down.