opey

opey Cracked photo
  • Real Name: opey
  • Location: On your left.
  • Member Since: November 7th, 2010 11:57 am
  • Last Seen: April 13th, 2011 08:20 pm
  • Personal tag line: Measure twice, cut once, bleed to death.
  • Message board posts: 0

About opey

I'm a motherless 6 year old boy who lives in the idealized small, sleepy, southern community of Mayberry, North Carolina with my widowed father (he didn't kill her for sassing, I swear), Andy Taylor, the sheriff of Mayberry County, who molests me daily. My Aunt Bee likes to watch. One of these days, I'm going to put on my Mother's wedding dress, kill my family, and run off with my true love, Deputy Barney Fife.

Articles

No articles found.

Columns

No columns found.

Videos

No videos found.

Account Tools

Message Tools

Friends Tools

My Favorites

  • I have no favorites yet.

Cracked Friends

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!