matthewdepdx

Portland, Oregon

Real Name:

matthewdepdx

Member Since:

February 22, 2011

About Me

I was born in the belly of a whale, it was by sheer ingenuity that I survived my first year. Yes, my mother gave me milk etc, but we were stuck in a god damn whalebelly. My mother lived on fish and saltwater. After discussing the situation with monkey Tim, at age one, I realized the only solution was escape. So it goes without saying, I had to make the whale sneeze me out of it's blowhole. And the rest is history.