lilcoons1995 Cracked photo
  • Real Name: Mike
  • Location:
  • Member Since: July 25th, 2010 03:42 pm
  • Last Seen: June 26th, 2016 05:13 pm
  • Personal tag line: Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool
  • Message board posts

About lilcoons1995

Mike Cooney is an American success story. Born to a white, middle-class family in an average sized suburban community, he would boldly overcome this adversity and do great things, such as making the JV soccer team, learning how to parallel park, and deciphering the language of Starbucks coffee shops without the help of language learning software. For these and many other accomplishments, Time Magazine named him their 2006 person of the year:,28757,2019341,00.html

When not stimulating the local economy through purchases of Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies, Mike shares his experiences and worldly knowledge through his treatises. They can be found on

Ever the progressive thinker, Mike has outsourced his communication to a G mail account. If you wish to employ him in some capacity, or inquire into the availability of his television pilot, you can reach him at:



No columns found.


Account Tools

Cracked Friends

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!