Worked as a bouncer for several years. Not only did my duties include common bouncer activity, but extended above and beyond the call of duty to erasing injustice and corruption in the entire town (usually with my bare hands, and usually in a very badass manner).

Or perhaps I mistook my life for the plot of Roadhouse, it's hard to say. Either way, I pour a fine whiskey-whatever's in the house and I embrace the women readers of Cracked with open loins, and hey, all the guys too, really I'm too narcissistic to care.

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