ktanner404 Cracked photo
  • Real Name: Kris Danger Tanner
  • Location: Tortuga
  • Member Since: October 26th, 2012 12:06 am
  • Last Seen: November 3rd, 2013 09:51 am
  • Personal tag line: My one regret in life? Being born.
  • Message board posts

About ktanner404

A high functioning sociopath, Kris was born a screaming larva in 1812 ("all tooth & nails" according to those unfortunate enough to have been present). Dr.Tanner cannot be killed by conventional means. His full name is; Kristobelle Alabaster Livingstone James Susan Gabrial Tannonphal. His ID reads 'Kris Danger Tanner' but he is known to his friends (meaning those not YET his enemy) simply as Kris or sometimes Smash Killingsworth.

In 1884 Kris built a time machine. Being the ever troublesome lack-wit that he is, he has spent the last century striding about the timeline in his atom mill of a time machine. While not screwing with history Kris enjoys reading, painting, masked crime fighting, performing stand up (poorly), photography, swashbuckling, wearing tuxedos (Kris is not a farmer (yet)), and scribbling away endless piles of paper in a vain attempt to write the great un-american novel.

Kris is handsome, tough, smart, funny, charismatic, but above all else- humble and modest.


No articles found.


No columns found.


No videos found.

Account Tools

Cracked Friends

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!