Well, since you asked so politely, here we go. I'm a writer, who spends his time parusing Internet comedy sites hoping to one day find the cure for cancer. Or, to get paid to write comedy. I am ok with either/or.
I don't really get the point of Twitter and am sick of people wanting me to 'follow them.' I have enough following to do in my everyday stalking.
Some of my greatest work has been written on the insides of bathroom stalls. Like, not directly on the stalls. People work hard to paint those. I actually print off articles I write and then tape them in random bathroom stalls for all to enjoy. I think this approach will lead to me becoming famous and wealthy with millions of young eager women throwing themselves in front of my car. Wait, that probably wouldn't be that good. I think I meant throwing themselves at me. Yah, that one.
I think cats are funny. But there are definitely some cats I don't trust.
My mother used to tell me that 'sarcasm is the lowest form of humour.' And now she's dead. Explain that one.
I have actually had days where I watched 'too much' porn. Until Google Video went hardcore, I didn't think that was possible. By the way, Google video has porn now.
Although you probably can't tell by reading this, I am an actual writer. Went to school and everything! Done it all from being a rogue music reporter, a mental health correspondent, writing horrendously boring ad copy online and am now hoping to branch into the realm of comedy writing. Because I realized I'm much funnier on Facebook than I am in real life.
Also, I believe everything I read on the Internet and think you should too.
