indie114 Cracked photo
  • Real Name: indie114
  • Location: Jail. Possibly after an alcohol-induced coma or "sleep" as I call it.
  • Member Since: September 18th, 2008 05:14 pm
  • Last Seen: April 3rd, 2012 10:09 am
  • Personal tag line: What can I say about myself that hasn't been said about monkey gang-rape?
  • Message board posts

About indie114

Oh my, where do I begin? I had a typical childhood like any wild boar would have had, but I digress. I fuck like an Intergalactic Jesus Christ from outter-space. Your mom is my posse. For fun I snort crystal meth while riding a Tyrannosaurus Rex. I take shit from no one, but deep down I want to be held, and I want to cry and I do. Often times, I cry after a night of vagina-plundering, but not because I'm sensitive. I cry man-tears for the many vaginas my mutated seed will savagely destroy during labor that I shall never know about; Man-tears full of mantastic mantrition. I bottle that shit and sell it on the Black Market, but the Latino Market gives me a subsidy (Read: breast milk) so they get preference. I invented a device to scratch your taint in a gentlemanly fashion. For reasons I'm not at liberty to say here due to pending legal prosecution, I had to re-imagine it as the so-called "back-scratcher." But that's bullshit, son! Let's be honest, does it truly alleviate those areas of your back best left to Asian Prostitu-I mean, massage therapists? Try it on your taint. Go on, try it! What, are you chicken-shit? Come at me, bro!


No articles found.


No columns found.


No videos found.

Account Tools

Cracked Friends

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!