I'm a 24 yr old virgin from a shitty town in arkansas. i have a 1 year old son and a girlfriend, they're both kind of cool. i love to write and i love to make people laugh and i love to be offensive and i love doing all those things while dressed like a velociraptor. actually i dont, i just like using the term 'velociraptor' as much as possible in a day to day conversation. i prefer to spend most of my time drawing pictures of penises on random vehicles in wal*mart parking lot. when im not doing that, i write funny shit on facebook and make fun of people to their faces. and when im not doing all that, im wrestling polar bears for exercise in the north pole. and when im not doing any of those things, im thinking of shit to write for cracked.com in the hopes of one day becoming a famous writer via cracked articles. and if all that fails, i can just do like my father and grandfathers before me... im not sure what that is yet considering they were all hobos, but they made me so they couldnt be too bad.

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