garrj08b's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: Sven Hunkstrom
  • Location: Your nightmares, Hell, and children's parties
  • Member Since: August 28th, 2010
  • Last Seen: July 14th, 2012 8:04 pm
  • Personal tag line: There are 3 kinds of people in this world...those who can count, and those who can't
  • Message board posts: 0

About garrj08b

I like my women like I like my spaghetti...soft, warm, and covered in marinara sauce. I enjoy petty larceny, drug wars, and puppies. I REALLY enjoy stealing puppies from drug lords. I like cats too, but I can never eat a whole one. Chickens frighten me, as do gay cows....with all their fabulous milk.

Also, I'm 13 feet tall, 85 pounds, and I have beige hair, some even say it's ecru. My eyes are in my orbital cavities where they belong (usually). I have 3 legs, but one of them is missing. And lastly, I never, ever, EVER finish what I......


No articles found.


No columns found.


No videos found.

Account Tools

Cracked Friends

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!