You may have not heard of me because I was kidnaped as a child from the slopes of Mt. Everest, and taken to a bordello in Rio De Janeiro, where I have been cleaning the filthy toilets for the past 50 years. A visitor to our whipping room there screamed in a transport of agony and ecstasy that there was a website named Cracked and I have come here to have myself acknowledged, before I die, as the great artist I believe myself to be.
-Kurt Vonnegut, sort of

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