Chris London is currently a customer service puppet. While he may be somewhat entirely filled with cynicism and emo-ness, he's generally a good lad who means well and tries to be nice to people. Tired of having a complete stranger's hand up his ass on a daily basis, he deigned to take his penchant for purple prose, his sentiment for self-deprecation, his enjoyment of (what he thinks of as) existentialism, and affection for alliteration to the doorstep of Cracked.com. He did this in the hopes that the hands of the Columnists would be a little gentler than those of the general public (at the very least, he was told that they would apply lube first). While he is likely entirely wrong in this assumption, at least he'll know the screen names of those wrist deep in his anus. Plus, he may actually learn how to be a REAL writer. Hell, he may even be funny one day!

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