cardboardextra Cracked photo
  • Real Name: cardboardextra
  • Location: inside your house
  • Member Since: January 4th, 2011 07:16 pm
  • Last Seen: December 6th, 2016 10:16 pm
  • Personal tag line: I was kicked out of the sexual harassment seminar for unsolicited reenactment.
  • Message board posts

About cardboardextra

I can't eat at McDonald without being on the watch out for ankle biters and knee rammers trying to get a scalding shower from my hot coffee.

I can't masturbate during the whipping scene in The Passion of the Christ because someone brought their tweens to an R-Rated theatre.

I can't even steal a car anymore without checking if some idiot have left their kid unattended in it first!


"Sometimes when I golf, I like to pretend that the little white balls are the shrunken heads of my enemies."

the guide to masturbating in public

1. Give number to telemarkers
2. Set phone to vibrate
3. Put phone in condom (hygenie first)
4. Stick phone in underwear
5. Hide face behind novel of Sofie's Choice or John Dies At The End, pretend you are convulsing because it's soooooo sad.


Read More....

So maybe I'm slow and everyone else has already done it, but quoting articles in comments have been a pain in the ass because of the "Read More link plus weird robot looking thing at the end, it's why I end up having to type the quote I want in comments and when I rec an article!

Well, the villain behind that is Tynt, just install adblock, go to options then customize, and block Tynt's stupid ass website (, and voila, no more copy and paste breakage!


No articles found.


No columns found.


No videos found.

Account Tools

Cracked Friends

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!