I'm a military vet who beat the balls off a dude who was trying to make time with my wife. I ended up killing the poor bastard and wound up in jail for a while. The only thing that kept me going in the slammer were letters from my wife and daughter that I never got to see. When I was released, I had to be transferred on a plane full of a colorful assortment of ethnic stereotyped villians who ended up taking the plane over. Thankfully, due to the efforts of myself and John Cusak, the plane was crashed in the center of Vegas and no one died except the bad guys and money was flying all over the place. I finally got to see my daughter and now I spend most of my time on Cracked.com or at the veterans hospital being treated for the AIDS I got in prison.

• Home
• Friends