Graduating in December with my M.S. What is my MS in you might ask? Water, simply put, water. It turns out people like being able to drink from their facuets and NOT DYING. I guess that's some sort of good thing. But I wouldn't know, because grad school killed me long, long ago. No worries though folks, because I took several others with me. Especially the children. Oh, the look on their faces. Basically I am trying to say I am dead. I am not living. I am a ghost. I'M A FUCKING GHOST. Turns out the only thing ghosts are aloud to eat by the code of Tula (don't ask, you'll know when you die and become a ghost), are Twinkies. TWINKIES?!?! I tried eating corn. Nope. Salmon, Nope. Crab Cakes, Nope. Shit I even went wild with it and tried to eat a freeze dried emu I found in some guy named Zeb's frig. Didn't work. I can touch it, just that when it goes in my mouth, I poop it straight out of the turtle that seems to be following me around. When you die you get a turtle. One who is very fond of crawling between your legs while you pee. It's disturbing. Very. However, I digress. My MS is going to be in Water. Horrible, horrible, useless water.

But in all honesty, the grad school stuff is true.

Also, I wrote this when I was extremely drunk.

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