I'm a fat, lazy smart-ass who loves Italian food. Basically, I'm Garfield. Also, statistics show I can outdrink you. I'm great in the bedroom, better in the kitchen, and I make 300 pounds look damn good.
Did I mention I'm incurably arrogant?
I have 5 years of improv comedy under my belt, but no experience with sketch comedy and little with comedy writing. In spite of my shaky qualifications, my goal is to one day be featured on Cracked.
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