I was apparently masturbating in lieu of writing this, but I decided to make it up to the none of you that will be reading this in the future. I am an unsuccessful writer and an unsuccessful amateur pornographer (one of these is true, decide for yourself), and I work at an electronics store and listen to assholes complain about their TVs all day. That's about all you need to know. If you wanna know more, I guess you can message me.

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