Hello, my name is Leonard (my friends call me Leo). Unfortunately, I was born a white man living in America. Some people might consider this a good thing, but I am ashamed. Every night I lie awake in my bed thinking about all the horrible things we have done to African Americans, Native Americans and other minority members. Almost every night I cry myself to sleep thinking of these atrocious crimes.
I also, firmly believe that women have been shortchanged and victimized by our gender. I see women as equal and sometimes superior to men in every-way.
My family is very wealthy, I still live with my parents (they are paying for my education). This wealth and the way my parents act has made me disgusted with the rampant, expansive capitalism that exists in the world today. I absolutely refuse to get a job (I've never had one in my life) in protest of the aggressive greedy nature of capitalism.
Almost every day something happens that makes we wish I lived in a better, socialist nation or even better anarchy. I believe without governments in the way, people will learn to be tolerant and except one another. Everyone could live in peaceful harmony if we just got these laws and politicians out of the way.
I am a very creative, unique and artistic individual. I think this is most evident by my style of dress. I often wear a green military cap similar to that of Fidel Castro's in conjunction with a Che Guevara T-shirt as a testament to the spirit of socialism. I often wear a pair of faded and ripped jeans I bought from a thrift store. (I prefer buying form thrift stores so that my parent's money doesn't go to serving the capitalist machine.) Then I have a 70's style cruelty and animal product free faux-leather jacket.
I also prize creativity and individuality in others, so don't consider me your equal unless you are as equally as unique and individualistic as I am. Once when I was discussing how much I prize individuality, my dad asked me if I would rather have something done uniquely or have it done well. In truth, I prefer uniquely. Anyone can make something well, that serves the corporate machine, but only a truly great individual can make something unique, like Quentin Tarantino.
Religiously, I identify as an atheist. However, I do believe in the paranormal and practice my own self-taught style of Buddhism. I have also modified the Buddhist teachings to include other aspects that I find are highly relevant in today's society. To represent mother nature, I have added the Wicca earth-goddess Gaia to my personal belief system. I find the idea of praying to a mother-goddess much more soothing then the idea of praying to a male god. (It's perfectly okay to believe in something for which there is no explanation or proof, as long as it's not God.) Honestly, if you are older than twelve, you should be an atheist by now.
I know, deep in my heart however, that Christianity is evil. It was made solely to oppress people and has never contributed anything good to humanity. RELIGION IS WHAT CAUSES WAR, WAKE UP PEOPLE. If I had it my way, we would round all the Christians up in large camps and systematically exterminate them. The world would be a perfect place IF WE JUST GOT RID OF ALL THE CHRISTIANS. (Genocide is sometimes justified, as long as you don't believe in god.)
Another thing I hate, is how stupid all the Christian mythology is. Anyone who could take it seriously would have to be some kind of mentally handicapped retard who still believes in fairy tales. I've never read the bible, but when me and my friends go to Starbucks, we always joke about going into bookstores and moving all the bibles to the Fantasy section, where it belongs.
Deep down inside, I'm glad I picked a believable religion like Buddhism, which doesn't have a bunch of bullshit like demons and angels or giant invisible wizards in the sky.
One of the main side effects of Christianity and Religion in general is war, which I also hate with a passion. I believe that no man ever has the right to take the life of another. (Especially if it is a white man taking the life of a member of a visible minority.) I think a lot of wars are caused by the fact that my countrymen (Americans) are filled with false pride. There is never a good reason to go to war, yet our country keeps making them. I think that if someone attacked me or my country, I would rather lay down and die then harm another human being. It would be better to die with a clear conscious then to be an accomplice to the murder and genocide caused by war.
"Why do they always send the poor?" - System of a Down
Have you ever really sat down and listened to a song? I don't normally listen to metal, but I think System of a Down really hit the nail on the head with this question. Have you ever really sat down and asked yourself "Why do they always send the poor?" Have you ever asked yourself what it really means. I'm sure after I've pointed it out to you, you'll see the terrible, oppressive, patriarchal, hetero-normative society that capitalism creates. It's a society where anyone can just send, poor, impoverished minorities off to die for oil in some country most of my countrymen can't even point out on a map.
Now, I really hate war and abhor any sort of violence or killing whatsoever. However, I do believe it is acceptable in certain circumstances. I have listed the circumstances as follows:
1) Preserving the lives of animals. Not only do I believe animals deserve equal or greater rights then human beings, I also believe they are superior creatures in every way. I think anyone being cruel to an animal deserves to be destroyed and I would personally like to kill everyone who has ever worn fur or leather, EVER.
2) Protecting mother Nature. I know a lot of people don't think that global warming is an immediate threat to our planet, but TRUST ME IT IS. Science has proven it. These people think driving their SUVs isn't the equivalent of murder. Perhaps the government should make owning an SUV illegal, upon pain of death.
3) Preventing Racism and discrimination. I know that racism is just absolutely, completely wrong and is never acceptable under any circumstances. (Even the so-called "casual" racism.) Honestly, I don't event think it should be legal for people to have racist thoughts.
4) Preventing the spread of the Cancer known as Christianity. Christianity is just terrible, okay? Everyone should do their part to completely destroy it.
5) Undermining the white, homophobic, prejudice, Hetero-Normative, sexist, patriarchal, oppressive, capitalist regime of The US of A.
That being said, I believe there have only ever been two "Good" wars in the history of the earth. The first is the civil war, where the brave Union troops fought and died to end slavery and racism.
The second is the second war, primarily because Hitler was a racist and what he did was wrong. Although I kind of agree with some of his ideas, he had a strong environmental conscience and was a vegetarian. If he weren't racist and maybe he was eliminating gas-guzzling conservatards, I think I would side with him.
I idolize Che Guevera, because I really identify with him. We're both revolutionaries and radical free-thinkers who sadly won't be appreciated in their own lifetime. Some people have accused me of being a hypocrite, because I am a staunch pacifist. I would say that these people simply do not understand the greater essence that is Che Guevera who transcends his violent acts and inspires free-thinking revolutionaries all over the world.
The number one goal I have in mind by spreading my message of peace and tolerance is to reach as many of my liberal-minded socialist comrades across the nation. To create a national channel of communication for these socialists. I would like to unite them under the IDEA of perfect socialist state and create a sort of group or party if you will for these national socialists.
The second goal, I have is to come up with a solution for to what I like to call the "Conservative Problem" that afflicts America. I have a number of temporary solutions in mind, but what I would really like is a solution that is truly epic in it's finality. A solution that would require no further or subsequent solutions.
A lot of people have accused me of trolling, I would just like to say that I am not trolling. I am sincerely expressing my beliefs and opinions. Honestly, it's a little hurtful and offensive that people would dismiss my opinions so readily, simply because they are unable or unwilling to understand them. I know that a lot of people on these forums are too ignorant or intolerant to understand my message. I was hoping I could find acceptance for my progressive and enlightened beliefs, but now I see I was wrong. People like me, with intelligent brainpower and superior beliefs are few and far between. It's a shame the world won't see how wrong they are until someone like me is in charge. At least after registering here on cracked, I faced the hatred and intolerance of the other commentators and now I know what it is like to be truly oppressed.
On another note I would just like to say that THIS man is my personal hero:
(Longer version Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M3DLGP4UKQ)
On a final note, I would just like to mention my favorite political cartoon. I find it really funny, honest and sincere all the things proper internet comedy should be. http://minimumsecurity.net/blog/
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