I like lists.

I just ate some waffles, and they were mediocre.

I'm wearing a rubber finger.

I wish my eyes were green instead of diarrhea colored, but if I could really have a wish granted, I don't think I'd waste it on that.

I don't think I'd wish for world peace either, unless it came with some sort of warranty. You know, a 90 day money back guarantee.

I'd like to start a cult - it's a great way to make money, you just can't have a suicide pact because then you can't SPEND the money. Why doesn't anyone get that?

I love you.