I'm kind of good at life and things. Throughout my painful and deprived childhood in the suburbs of Cincinnati I was constantly faced with difficult situations, like what I should wear to my 100% ethnically caucasian school to impress girls or which of the 5 local supermarkets should I go to for groceries, that really shaped who I have become as a person today. Through seemingly tireless effort I was afforded the opportunity to attend private, 95% ethnically caucasian high school, where life took out its brutal torments on me. Through dedicated perseverance I managed to battle my way past the endless challenges of the American educational system and social awkwardness on weekends into college.
Although living in the midwest has taken its toll on me, I stand strong and enjoy attending fraternity parties, running from the police, pursuing freshman girls, and drowning in Natural Light 6 nights a week. Thanks to business related (more like, "reorganize these files from 1997 to now") internships in windowless cubicles, I have become well acquainted with cracked.com, and thank the devoted authors who have saved me from 40 hours of dreadful boredom every week.
Oh, I enjoy music, beaches, gurlz, lolcatz, and any and everything nickelback.
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