I live in a small cave on the side of Mt. Olympus. Firstly I have a laptop that, thanks to my collaboration with Nikolai Tesla, is powered by sacrificing small animals to the great God Sherlock Holmes. Animals such as squirrels and field mice work well but what I find works best are a small creature indiginous to Mt. Olympus called "cats". They are small and furry and have whiskers.
I get my internet by stealing it off the vampire Niko, who I know for certain doesn't sparkle in the sunshine(he actually breaks into song and can't stop until he's out of the sun), who lives in the small village at the base of Mt. Olympus. He doesn't mind me taking his internet as he is too busy with several vampire mistresses he has in his house, which begs the question, why does he need internet to begin with?
I don't like music as Iknow for a fact it was invented by the demon Beelzebub to power the Third Reich during WW2.
And don't get me started on movies. The only reason that actors get paid so much is that they have to be constantly upgraded, thank you very much Steve Jobs of Apple, as they are cyborgs.
My hobbies include trapping small animals to power my laptop and searching the internet for new and interesting ways to masturbate, currently 349 (you can thank me later when I publish my book men of planet earth). I also, on occasion, have been known to go on long midnight walks with my vampire friend Niko
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