My name's Bobby. Circa 1990, I was plopped headfirst into the world. Those first traumatizing moments permanently stunted my growth, which is why you may not see me unless you lower your eyes to about the 5 foot level. Shortly after birth I began to read, and soon discovered the beauty that is crack. Er, Cracked, rather. Definitely Cracked. I have decided that it's time to try my hand at contributing to the site, starting with this blurb. Hopefully I can hack it -- if not, I can always fall back my part-time job as a lawn ornament.

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