I'm a writer the same way that Russell Crowe is a boxer. I write philosophical treatises of such soaring beauty that the penis/vagina jokes almost seem out of place. I have more forms of hypochondria than I can diagnose; I'm also a great believer in peppering my work randomly with semicolons and slightly big words of inconsistent spelling in order to propogate the conseption that I know what I'm doing.
Selected Penis Joke: Q. Why did the penis cross the road? A. In my experience, the penis has little say in the direction it travels beyond hanging uselessly downwards or pointing slightly to the left of straight ahead (the latter usually at around 10am and 4:30pm most weekdays), so I doubt it had any choice in the matter.
Selected Vagina Joke: Q. How many vaginas does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Five.
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