Saul Goodman was born on the back of an elephant in a forest, after a panther with a medical degree helped his mother deliver him. Saul's mother is a zebra and therefore Saul has an ingrained love for both black and white people. Saul's father, who left his mother on finding out Saul's mom was pregnant, was a lion and this explains Saul's inherent love for brown people too. Saul however cannot stand orange or purple people.
Saul was a human amongst animals and this made him feel like an outcast, particularly during the mass orgies. His mother neglected him and he was often made fun of by the other animals for his grotesque and unusual physical appearance. The snarky porcupines were particularly harsh. This made Saul sad, and so he decided to make a change by joining a group of black street dancers in New York. His mother didn't notice his departure because she was having a threeway with a hippo and a panda.
The street dancers were initially skeptical of Saul and his strange ways, but eventually accepted him once they got him to understand that it wasn't socially acceptable to start humping womens' legs before knowing their names. Saul learnt more lessons along the way and the street kids of colour learnt a lot from Saul too. They practiced for months in order to get ready for a major dance competition where the winners would get to be back-up dancers in a Jennifer Lopez video. It was the ultimate prize.
Saul's mother, meanwhile, followed his trail and ended up in New York. However, instead of making it just in time to see his big performance and watch him proudly with tears forming in her large doe eyes, she was run over at a zebra crossing by a Mercedes.
The competition began 30 minutes later and Saul, who was unaware of his mother's recent demise, performed exceedingly well. His group, called "Street Kids Of Colour Keep It Real and Exchange Lessons Of Life With White Jungle Boy (SKOCKIRELOLWWJB)", reached the finals where they would be competing against a group of rich, white kids and an arrogant Persian cat.
The white kids went first, and performed a fusion of jazz and hip-hop to loud applause. Saul was now beginning to feel the nerves. The group waited for their turn, while Jennifer Lopez announced the launch of her latest album called "J 2 Da L.O.".
Finally, it was time for SKOCKIRELOLWWJB to show what they had.
Performing a fusion of ballet, hip-hop, swing, disco, crunk and the chicken dance, the SKOCKIRELOLWWJB absolutely nailed their performance. The crowd went nuts and bananas. Saul had never felt better. Not only was he sure his group would win, but for the first time in his life, he felt accepted. For who he was. It was much cause. For dramatic pause.
Lopez walked on to stage, her ass shaking like a tail feather. "First of all, everyone here is a winner," she said. "But there can be only one winner," she continued, "and their name is......Street Kids Of Colour Keep It Real and Exchange Lessons Of Life With White Jungle Boy!!!".
Saul and group jumped up in delight. They hugged each other and cried tears of joy. The rich, white kids and Persian cat were mildly disappointed before leaving for a Playboy party at Jamie Foxx's penthouse. JLo then presented Saul's group with a trophy made of fake silver.
"And that's not the only trophy you get," said Jennifer. "Youuuu alsooo winnnnnn...", she continued, before pausing while she dug into her large Louis Vitton handbag. Saul was giddy with excitement and had his hands out in front of him, ready to receive his award. "Youuuuu alsoooo winnnnnn....", she repeated before removing what was in the bag and handing it to Saul, "...this beautiful, authentic head of a zebra!!!!!!!"
Saul recognized the head immediately. He was shocked into a state of temporary paralysis. Lopez noticed his reaction and misconstrued what it meant. "Oh don't worry about it! It wasn't very expensive", said Lopez. "My driver ran over it on the way here, and we needed to get rid of the evidence. New York has really strict killing zebras at zebra crossings laws."
Saul was now close to breaking down. "Aw Saul!", continued Lopez. "It's true papi! This didn't cost us anything at all! We got rid of the body by eating it. I love zebra meat! How do you think I got this ass?! But I don't like the head, so I thought I'd give it to the winners of the competition."
That was the final straw for Saul. He let out a loud "Nooooooooooooooo!!" and then smashed Lopez's head into the stage repeatedly. Again. And again. And again. All this while angrily uttering the words, "You. Fucking. Ate. My. Mother. You. Stupid. Fucking. Bitch. And. Your. Music. Fucking. Sucks". The crowd kept cheering thinking this was a new dance move. By the time security figured out what was going on, J Lo was dead. Dead meat.
Saul was arrested for killing Jennifer Lopez and his group were arresed for being accomplices. The trial took place two weeks later, and the jury consisting of 12 angry men shockingly judged Saul as "not guilty" for reasons unknown. However, the steet kids of colour were sentenced to life imprisonment.
And that's the story of Saul Goodman.