Simon Bower writes to get over a girl who rejected him for not doing anything important with his life, "like writing comedy on the internet".
He's also a stand-up comedian who has performed in sold-out shows at the Canberra Comedy Festival and Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
If you want to contact him with job offers or undeserved praise, you can find him on Twitter (@simonsbadtweets) or e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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