I sleep on a pudding mattress and look forward to fortnightly delousing. I moonlight as an Olympic javelin sharpener and catwalk perfume model. I enjoy deveining tangerines and singing the wrong national anthem. I also like to add extra sentences to every statement.
Have also written a ludicrous novel about the murder of Frosty the Snowman: http://www.jukepopserials.com/home/read/1167
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