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NathanWells
Livin' on the edge! (of Houston, TX)

Real Name:
NathanWells
Member Since:
May 19, 2010

About Me

I live in Houston, Texas. During the summer it's the kind of hot where you can't make it ten feet outside of air conditioning without your genitals firmly sticking to your leg. Sometimes your pouch will stick to the right leg and the shaft will choose the left, this is how you know it is going to be a bad day. On top of that due to certain legal issues the Government says I cannot leave Harris County. In light of my legal troubles I decided to give college a second try, and registered at a special little bit of hell called Lone Star Community College. I've tried talking to the administration about some sort of cross promotion with Lone Star Beer but for some reason they are firmly opposed. My first day of classes I noticed a crowd forming in front of the Church of Texas (Read: high school football stadium) that is on campus. Sarah Palin was speaking to endorse Rick Perry, and everyone in the community had shown up. They were not there to protest the raging idiocy, but rather to support it. While I tried to stomach this I caught site of a sign, it read "Homescholers for Perry!" Once again just in case you forgot, I am legally prohibited from leaving Harris County. So much for the Eighth Amendment. (Before you run off to Google it, that's the one that prohibits cruel and unusual punishment.)

So, to round out my about me, I will mercilessly slander you (Read: stab you in the face with a shark. Not a shank, a shark; that was not a typo.) if you give me a reason and the chance. It's nothing personal, I'm just fairly disgruntled about the life decisions I made up to this point.

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