Mortal Wombat

Mortal Wombat's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: Mortal Wombat
  • Location: 888 Chop Suey St., Sushi City, Panda
  • Member Since: March 7th, 2004
  • Last Seen: May 24th, 2012 12:30 pm
  • Personal tag line: Have you ever seen a miniature horse?
  • Message board posts: 17,097

About Mortal Wombat

Nothing important.

Articles

  1. The 8 Most Incredible Things Slapped Together in a Day
    By: Christina H | | 797,256 views
  2. 6 Things Movies Love to Get Wrong About The Workplace
    By: Christina H | | 1,224,762 views
  3. 8 Gadgets That Lie to You Every Day
    By: Christina H | | 2,095,270 views
  4. 5 'Unspoiled' Locations That Are Actually Pretty Spoiled
    By: Christina H | | 904,527 views
  5. 5 Things That Are Apparently OK To Do in the Name of Sports
    By: Christina H | | 923,596 views
  6. 6 Famous 'Frivolous Lawsuit' Stories That Are Total B.S.
    By: Christina H | | 959,264 views
  7. 6 Fitness Tips Everyone's Heard (That Don't Work at All)
    By: Christina H | | 1,309,557 views
  8. 6 Groups Who Don't Work as Movie Bad Guys Anymore
    By: Christina H | | 1,027,298 views
  9. 5 Reasons The War Between Dog and Cat People Needs to Stop
    By: Christina H | | 574,479 views
  10. 6 Bad Ideas in Video Game Mash-Ups We'll Probably See Next
    By: Christina H | | 841,404 views
  11. 8 Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews: Pt. 2
    By: Christina H | | 1,098,925 views
  12. 5 Reasons Riding a Bike Is The Most Humiliating Exercise
    By: Christina H | | 869,583 views
  13. The 8 Most Successful Politicians (Who Weren't Human)
    By: Christina H | | 489,003 views
  14. 5 Reasons Parenting Is One Place We Shouldn't Imitate China
    By: Christina H | | 857,848 views
  15. 6 Reasons Kittens Suck (Learned While Raising Them)
    By: Christina H | | 902,266 views
  16. 5 Wildly Popular Car Modifications That Must Be Stopped
    By: Christina H | | 1,003,891 views
  17. 6 Ways Cities Are Getting Into the Attention-Whore Game
    By: Christina H | | 516,983 views
  18. 5 Weight Loss Tips for Cynical Bastards
    By: Christina H | | 681,696 views
  19. A History of Pop Culture's Obsession with Human/Cat Hybrids
    By: Christina H | | 383,631 views
  20. 8 Stupid Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews
    By: Christina H | | 3,765,936 views
  21. 6 Bizarre Ways Architecture Is Designed to Ward Off Ghosts
    By: Christina H | | 1,132,733 views
  22. The 6 Biggest Over-Achievements in the History of Marriage
    By: Christina H, D. McCallum | | 1,417,261 views
  23. 5 Reasons Why Anticonformity Is Worse Than Conformity
    By: Christina H | | 1,317,547 views
  24. The 5 Hardest, Most Pointless World of Warcraft Achievements
    By: Christina H | | 1,355,387 views
  25. 7 Things From America That Are Insanely Popular Overseas
    By: Christina H | | 2,776,038 views
  26. 4 Reasons 3-D Movies Don't Have to Suck
    By: Christina H | | 855,267 views
  27. 5 Reasons Women Are As Shallow As Men (According to Science)
    By: Christina H | | 2,334,748 views
  28. 5 Topics Guaranteed to Elicit (Condescending) Advice
    By: Christina H | | 1,135,105 views
  29. 6 Secret Monopolies You Didn't Know Run the World
    By: Christina H | | 2,300,456 views
  30. 5 Multiplayer Video Games That Will Destroy Your Marriage
    By: Christina H | | 1,167,526 views
  31. 5 Examples of Americans Thinking Foreign People Are Magic
    By: Christina H | | 893,405 views
  32. The 6 (Wrong) Questions Men Love to Ask About Women
    By: Christina H | | 2,671,648 views
  33. If Movie Characters Didn't Make Horrible Decisions
    By: Christina H | | 830,674 views
  34. 6 Reasons The NFL Is The Trashiest Reality Show on TV
    By: Christina H | | 671,505 views
  35. 5 Insane True Facts About StarCraft: The Professional Sport
    By: Christina H | | 1,557,447 views
  36. 7 Ad Campaigns That Prove Microsoft Was Never Good at This
    By: Christina H | | 592,252 views
  37. 8 Hilariously Failed Attempts to Use CGI in Political Ads
    By: Christina H | | 616,795 views
  38. The 5 Stupidest Ways Movies Deal With Foreign Languages
    By: Christina H | | 1,294,703 views
  39. 6 Devious Ways Farmville Gets People Hooked
    By: Christina H | | 709,350 views
  40. 5 Things That Are Being Automated That Probably Shouldn't Be
    By: Christina H | | 1,145,495 views
  41. Political Cartoons: The Lowest Form of Communication
    By: Christina H | | 375,092 views
  42. The End of Online Anonymity: Why Will You Be Freaking Out?
    By: Christina H, David Wong | | 358,105 views
  43. Why You Should Beware of Schools from Late Night TV Ads
    By: Christina H | | 267,141 views
  44. 4 Nobel Prize Winners Who Were Clearly Insane
    By: Christina H | | 711,081 views
  45. 'Plus Sized' Clothes: Translating the Baffling Euphemisms
    By: Christina H | | 379,136 views
  46. 6 Reasons It's Time For Matthew McConaughey To Go Away
    By: Christina H | | 578,746 views
  47. The 6 Worst Parts of Being Chinese (Not In The Stereotypes)
    By: Christina H | | 1,300,582 views
  48. 6 Well Intentioned Ways You're Ruining Your Dog
    By: Christina H | | 1,161,330 views
  49. 8 Health Foods That Are Bad For Your Health
    By: Christina H | | 1,632,099 views
  50. The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women (Like Me!) Make On The Internet
    By: Christina H | | 1,697,324 views
  51. The 6 Biggest Badasses Who Lived As The Opposite Sex
    By: Christina H | | 1,331,001 views
  52. The 5 Miserable VFX Jobs That Make Movies Possible
    By: Christina H | | 863,128 views
  53. The 6 Most Statistically Full of Shit Professions
    By: Christina H | | 3,208,244 views
  54. CGI Boobs: 7 Special Effects The Stars Want to Keep Secret
    By: Christina H | | 3,177,281 views
  55. 6 Ways World of Warcraft is Worse Than Real Life
    By: Christina H | | 1,450,529 views
  56. The 6 Most Insane Crash Diets of All Time
    By: Christina H | | 1,131,253 views
  57. The 5 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Comic Strips
    By: Christina H | | 1,159,622 views
  58. The World's Most Ridiculous Sports Team Names
    By: Christina H | | 1,028,989 views
  59. The 8 Least-Threatening Comic Book Villains
    By: Christina H | | 779,413 views

Columns

  1. 6 Types of Apologies That Aren't Apologies at All
    By: Christina H | | 722,751 views
  2. 10 News Stories That Raise Endless Unanswered Questions
    By: Christina H | | 967,454 views
  3. The 6 Biggest Fears of People Who Are Bad With Kids
    By: Christina H | | 607,471 views
  4. 6 Common Movie Arguments That Are Always Wrong
    By: Christina H | | 1,382,395 views
  5. 8 New TV Show Ideas Almost as Stupid as 'Grey's Anatomy'
    By: Christina H | | 513,795 views
  6. The 7 Most Obnoxious Fake Personalities on the Internet
    By: Christina H | | 834,410 views
  7. 4 Things The Jeremy Lin Story Reveals About Modern Racism
    By: Christina H | | 605,761 views
  8. 4 Reasons Humans Will Never Understand Each Other
    By: Christina H | | 574,765 views
  9. 8 Unexpected Downsides of the Switch to E-books
    By: Christina H | | 798,581 views
  10. The 7 Most Annoying Hidden Agendas on the Internet
    By: Christina H | | 869,512 views
  11. 8 Impressively Sarcastic Amazon Product Reviews (Part 3)
    By: Christina H | | 770,802 views
  12. The 7 Stupidest Things That Make People Proud
    By: Christina H | | 1,489,015 views
  13. The 7 Most Baffling Things About Women's Clothes
    By: Christina H | | 2,319,932 views
  14. 8 Bad Drivers Nobody Complains About (Part 2)
    By: Christina H | | 860,177 views
  15. 9 Quirky Things Every 'Cool' Workplace Is Required to Have
    By: Christina H | | 670,394 views
  16. 5 Reasons I Wrote the Drunkest Column Ever
    By: Christina H | | 355,518 views
  17. 5 Reasons Calling Someone a 'Nerd' Is Officially Meaningless
    By: Christina H | | 717,418 views
  18. 6 Obnoxious Ads That Don’t Even Try to Sell Their Products
    By: Christina H | | 779,274 views
  19. 10 Days As a Skyrim Widow: The Dark Side of Gaming Addiction
    By: Christina H | | 630,274 views
  20. The 8 People Who Will Ruin Your Attempt to Lose Weight
    By: Christina H | | 730,925 views
  21. 9 Bad Drivers Nobody Complains About
    By: Christina H | | 1,219,154 views
  22. 7 B.S. Sports Stories for When The Media Has Nothing to Say
    By: Christina H | | 538,002 views
  23. The 6 Stupidest Internet Reactions To Shocking News Stories
    By: Christina H | | 770,014 views
  24. 6 Misleading Assumptions You Make About Quiet People
    By: Christina H | | 1,097,594 views
  25. 7 Reasonable Explanations For Looking Like a Hipster
    By: Christina H | | 821,587 views
  26. 6 Innocent-Sounding Topics That Are Guaranteed Flame Wars
    By: Christina H | | 968,922 views
  27. 6 Habits of Highly Annoying Public Speakers
    By: Christina H | | 681,688 views
  28. 6 Obnoxious Assumptions Hollywood Makes About Women
    By: Christina H | | 1,219,344 views
  29. The 6 Weirdest Jobs in China
    By: Christina H | | 728,147 views
  30. 5 Common Responses to Awkwardness (That Make Things Worse)
    By: Christina H | | 818,207 views
  31. 8 Words the Internet Loves to Confuse With Other Words
    By: Christina H | | 918,958 views
  32. 8 Tiny Things That Stopped Suicides
    By: Christina H | | 1,477,313 views
  33. 6 Double Standards We're All Guilty Of
    By: Christina H | | 1,101,957 views
  34. 6 Ways to Get Anyone to Believe a Clearly Fake News Story
    By: Christina H | | 635,152 views
  35. 7 Female Behaviors That Baffle Men (Explained!)
    By: Christina H | | 1,352,444 views
  36. 6 Real Diseases That Have Somehow Become Trendy
    By: Christina H | | 1,063,898 views
  37. 5 Reasons We Need Classes on How to Talk to People
    By: Christina H | | 688,611 views
  38. 8 Words You're Confusing With Other Words
    By: Christina H | | 1,040,456 views
  39. The 6 Weirdest Free Speech Issues Around The World
    By: Christina H | | 627,374 views
  40. 5 Types of Scandals That Are Always Disappointing
    By: Christina H | | 650,684 views
  41. The 7 Types of Friend Everyone Needs
    By: Christina H | | 935,376 views
  42. 6 Reasons Engagement Ring Shopping Objectively Sucks
    By: Christina H | | 516,372 views
  43. The 5 Most Pointlessly Women-Specific Products
    By: Christina H | | 988,511 views
  44. The 5 Saddest Things People Do to Look Smart
    By: Christina H | | 1,134,007 views
  45. 4 Reasons We Need to Start Making Fun of Terrorists
    By: Christina H | | 735,371 views
  46. The 7 Most Condescending Sports Euphemisms
    By: Christina H | | 746,688 views
  47. 6 Things Everyone Wants To Share And Nobody Wants To Read
    By: Christina H | | 940,012 views
  48. 4 Recurring Myths We Apparently Really Want to Believe
    By: Christina H | | 1,349,611 views
  49. 5 Iconic Corporate Mascots Invented by Mistake
    By: Christina H | | 961,504 views

Topics

  1. Anatomy of a Failed World of Warcraft Raid
    By: sadistic midget, Mortal Wombat | | 375,010 views
  2. A Guide to Buying, Owning and Hating Your Pet Cat
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 188,238 views
  3. The 11 Most Common (And Sad) Internet Argument Techniques
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 947,695 views
  4. How to Tell When Criticism is Constructive [Chart]
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 185,034 views
  5. Why Miracle Weight Loss Products Don't Work [CHART]
    By: Mortal Wombat, David Wong | | 311,534 views
  6. Bubba Gump
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 3,067 views
  7. Dallas Cowboys Football
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 45,322 views
  8. Hiring By Boob Size: Hooters' Guide to Legal Discrimination
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 190,532 views
  9. Casino Floor Plan: The Secret to Keeping You Gambling
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 140,173 views
  10. Why Dr. Seuss May Be History's Greatest Author [CHART]
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 317,801 views
  11. The First QB to Ever Eat Himself Out of the NFL
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 238,892 views

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