MichaelSwaim

MichaelSwaim's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: MichaelSwaim
  • Location: San Diego, California
  • Member Since: October 12th, 2007
  • Last Seen: October 20th, 2014 10:42 am
  • Personal tag line: I AM creative enough to have written a personal tag line, but choose not to for religious reasons.
  • Message board posts: 641

About MichaelSwaim

I write here sometimes. Also make videos. I also do that one (the videos one) at my own site, Those Aren't Muskets! (www.thosearentmuskets.com). I also do a lot of other stuff, but it's not as directly applicable to the Internet, and I feel like that's what you're probably most interested in. I often shave.

Articles

8 Kids Movies That Lied to Us

| 1,327,243 views

The 7 Least-Faithful Comic Book Movies

| 841,362 views

The 8 Funniest Webcomics

| 901,003 views

Columns

An Open Letter To Michael Cera

| 60,291 views

I Will Soon Be Judging American Idol

| 21,629 views

2012 ... The Realistic Edition

| 48,888 views

Extinction Is Only For Ugly Animals

| 59,759 views

Every Episode of 'House' Ever

| 181,980 views

The 7 Deadly Sins of Online Gaming

| 211,288 views

Class War! A Handy Guide

| 16,697 views

8 Animals With Real Superpowers

| 461,292 views

Pull It Together, Guillermo

| 11,737 views

Unprotected Sex And The City

| 11,694 views

Pirates XXX II: Pirates LX?

| 46,135 views

Help Me Ruin Dilbert!

| 9,896 views

Your Kindle is a Filthy Liar

| 7,602 views

And Once Again, I Lose To Oprah

| 4,574 views

I HAVE No Change Jar!

| 20,536 views

New GPS Voice Skins! A Video Review

| 7,240 views

Jesus is More Photogenic, Anyway

| 9,671 views

Apple's Got Your Back, Fatass

| 4,327 views

Playing God Never Looked So Good

| 5,909 views

Bill Nye, The Restraining Order Guy

| 10,429 views

Call Me When You've Got HoloSlaloms

| 2,160 views

Worst Case Scenario: T-Rex Edition

| 12,229 views

To Protect, Serve, and Beg for Dick

| 9,325 views

They Grow Up So Fast.

| 323,211 views

Scaaaaaaaaab!

| 4,656 views

Gaming News Extravaganza!

| 2,981 views

DON'T. TAKE. METH.

| 16,638 views

Turks Will Fuck You Up

| 6,776 views

I'm Typing This From Inside a Fire

| 2,714 views

Gun vs. Fist: The Debate Continues

| 5,017 views

Rock Band Release Date Moved Up

| 2,305 views

Videos

The 6 Weirdest Fan Tributes to Mario Bros.

| 1,121,841 views

The 7 Creepiest Simpsons Fan Tributes

| 645,628 views

Agents of Cracked: Swaim Gets Fired

| 269,961 views

The End

| 419,455 views

Which Apocalypse Would Be the Most Fun?

| 1,904,242 views

Bruce Willis: Space Whore

| 286,408 views

Star Wars Is Terrifying for Women

| 1,929,289 views

The 8 Saddest Real World Superheroes

| 624,426 views

Why Mario is Secretly a Douchebag

| 1,455,322 views

'Game of Thrones': The Board Game

| 794,498 views

The Invention of Homelessness

| 274,769 views

If Condom Commercials Were Honest

| 249,085 views

Why Indiana Jones Secretly Sucks at His Job

| 1,041,702 views

The Only 8 Types of TV Shows That Get Made

| 1,096,249 views

Why Apple Clearly Thinks You're Stupid

| 410,348 views

If Famous Websites Were People

| 467,052 views

The 4 Best Movie Universes To Die In

| 657,904 views

The Worst Time to Get Naked

| 209,248 views

When Body Switching Movies Collide

| 86,367 views

The Steve Buscemi Method of Acting

| 163,499 views

Why You Shouldn't Get High Before Work

| 138,469 views

Who F#@ked This Pumpkin?

| 116,621 views

Adventures in Jedi School: Outtakes

| 67,295 views

The 3-Minute Prisoner's Dilemma

| 66,406 views

6 Reasons 'Titanfall' Makes No Sense

| 128,258 views

Account Tools

Cracked Friends

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!