MichaelSwaim

MichaelSwaim's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: MichaelSwaim
  • Location: San Diego, California
  • Member Since: October 12th, 2007
  • Last Seen: July 22nd, 2014 2:41 pm
  • Personal tag line: I AM creative enough to have written a personal tag line, but choose not to for religious reasons.
  • Message board posts: 639

About MichaelSwaim

I write here sometimes. Also make videos. I also do that one (the videos one) at my own site, Those Aren't Muskets! (www.thosearentmuskets.com). I also do a lot of other stuff, but it's not as directly applicable to the Internet, and I feel like that's what you're probably most interested in. I often shave.

Articles

8 Kids Movies That Lied to Us

| 1,323,759 views

The 7 Least-Faithful Comic Book Movies

| 838,977 views

The 8 Funniest Webcomics

| 894,409 views

Columns

An Open Letter To Michael Cera

| 60,175 views

I Will Soon Be Judging American Idol

| 21,603 views

2012 ... The Realistic Edition

| 48,832 views

Extinction Is Only For Ugly Animals

| 59,661 views

Every Episode of 'House' Ever

| 179,080 views

The 7 Deadly Sins of Online Gaming

| 210,291 views

Class War! A Handy Guide

| 16,651 views

8 Animals With Real Superpowers

| 457,579 views

Pull It Together, Guillermo

| 11,708 views

Unprotected Sex And The City

| 11,646 views

Pirates XXX II: Pirates LX?

| 45,985 views

Help Me Ruin Dilbert!

| 9,858 views

Your Kindle is a Filthy Liar

| 7,574 views

And Once Again, I Lose To Oprah

| 4,552 views

I HAVE No Change Jar!

| 20,512 views

New GPS Voice Skins! A Video Review

| 7,200 views

Jesus is More Photogenic, Anyway

| 9,636 views

Apple's Got Your Back, Fatass

| 4,304 views

Playing God Never Looked So Good

| 5,885 views

Bill Nye, The Restraining Order Guy

| 10,257 views

Call Me When You've Got HoloSlaloms

| 2,140 views

Worst Case Scenario: T-Rex Edition

| 12,196 views

To Protect, Serve, and Beg for Dick

| 9,267 views

They Grow Up So Fast.

| 323,083 views

Scaaaaaaaaab!

| 4,640 views

Gaming News Extravaganza!

| 2,967 views

DON'T. TAKE. METH.

| 16,539 views

Turks Will Fuck You Up

| 6,697 views

I'm Typing This From Inside a Fire

| 2,714 views

Gun vs. Fist: The Debate Continues

| 4,983 views

Rock Band Release Date Moved Up

| 2,286 views

Videos

The 6 Weirdest Fan Tributes to Mario Bros.

| 1,120,211 views

The 7 Creepiest Simpsons Fan Tributes

| 643,502 views

Agents of Cracked: Swaim Gets Fired

| 268,704 views

The End

| 417,143 views

Which Apocalypse Would Be the Most Fun?

| 1,880,117 views

Bruce Willis: Space Whore

| 284,538 views

Star Wars Is Terrifying for Women

| 1,903,499 views

The 8 Saddest Real World Superheroes

| 616,326 views

Why Mario is Secretly a Douchebag

| 1,428,330 views

'Game of Thrones': The Board Game

| 786,033 views

The Invention of Homelessness

| 271,160 views

If Condom Commercials Were Honest

| 244,565 views

Why Indiana Jones Secretly Sucks at His Job

| 974,697 views

The Only 8 Types of TV Shows That Get Made

| 1,063,961 views

Why Apple Clearly Thinks You're Stupid

| 407,101 views

If Famous Websites Were People

| 462,276 views

The 4 Best Movie Universes To Die In

| 636,587 views

The Worst Time to Get Naked

| 207,816 views

When Body Switching Movies Collide

| 85,938 views

The Steve Buscemi Method of Acting

| 162,812 views

Why You Shouldn't Get High Before Work

| 133,193 views

Who F#@ked This Pumpkin?

| 115,635 views

Adventures in Jedi School: Outtakes

| 64,524 views

The 3-Minute Prisoner's Dilemma

| 63,688 views

Account Tools

Cracked Friends

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!