Once, long ago, in a dark, distorted reality, a hero was born. When his spirit breathed to first air of this new plane of existence, a unicorn somewhere had just been cured of it's sickness. His virgin footstep, and the Earth cracked. Demons came out, screaming in pure terror at the very moment of trampling their Terra-formed shelter. They flew into the heavens, and burst in clouds of light and dust. The dust came down like fallout, and everywhere it landed, flora and fauna came sprouting out of the ground at unnatural speeds. Then, he sat down on a golden throne brought by grateful angels in velvet robes and silken sashes, opened a Dr. Pepper, and watched Discovery Channel for the rest of his life.
Also, after rereading this little paragraph right here, I notice all the horrible grammar it has. I'll just keep it here as a testament to me being a butthole.
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