Julius_Goat

Julius_Goat's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: Julius_Goat
  • Location: I Occupy The Unused Space In Silverware Drawers
  • Member Since: January 28th, 2009
  • Last Seen: February 23rd, 2014 9:35 am
  • Personal tag line: Tadpoles! Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!
  • Message board posts: 89

About Julius_Goat

Let me tell you about me.

I'm pretty old, I guess. Estimates range as to how old. I reckon some day I'll get those carbon dating fellas out to my flypaper shack in the Ozarks to test me and then I'll know for sure. Then I'll shoot 'em because I hate trespassers and Nosey Nancies. I keep my teeth in my mouth, but I'm thinking about getting them into a Roth IRA or maybe a hedge fund. I am tall enough to ride all the rides at Seven Flags. I am omnifragrant, which means that I smell of everything, and, therefore, nothing. In my spare time, I catch eagles with my bare hands. You just need plenty of patience, and bare hands. And a gun. In seven years, I've caught 0 eagles. Today's the day!

I can bend spoons, but not with my mind.

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