I have four goals for this year.
1. I'm going to put out a handful of tabletop games for sale around here and on the Internet.
2. I'm going to get my wife's garden in order so that I can prepare her for farming next year, because that's when the restaurant opens and the ish REALLY goes down.
3. I'm going to start one of those blogs that no one ever reads because it's just me writing about stuff and has no pictures of naked women.
4. I'm going to record a record of commercially friendly pop music and sell it at shows in which I jump around in front of a laptop for an hour.
These are not the jokes. Here are the jokes.
1. A horse walks into a bar. Barkeep goes, "Hey, why the long face?" Horse goes, "I have AIDS. They don't screen as stringently in Tijuana."
2. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl tinkle? Because the 'p' is silent.
3. How many boring people does it take to change a lightbulb? One.
4. What's worse than rewatching your favorite shows as a kid when you grow up, and discovering that they aren't as good as you remember? The Holocaust.
Those are the jokes. Christ on a cracker, I'm a funny bastard.
Also I end like every comment with a sentence that doesn't end in a period
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