JohnnyNoName

California

Real Name:

JohnnyNoName

Member Since:

August 31, 2009

About Me

Fuck you.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were that OTHER guy. Don't fuck you, my apologies. Please, come in!

So, what brings you here to my comfortable little abode? Shall I prepare us some drinks? Would you like some water? Tea? White Zinfandel? No? Then let me get us some sandwiches. You just make yourself comfortable on that couch over there. Mind the cat, please. Lieutenant Mr. Wufflekins doesn't get along with new people.

Here are your sandwiches. I made them using the finest imported Romanian plum jam with some Skippy Super Chunk Peanut Butter. Now, let me tell you about myself.

I enjoy romantic evenings by candlelight listening to smooth jazz music and drinking a glass of champagne with just me and myself, masturbating quietly. I also don't like the way you look at me. So stop that.

I live a fascinating life. My hobbies include sitting and using a pair of tweezers to pick lint off of dark fabric and arguing with myself about which color M&M tastes the best.

So tell me about yourself.