Since cracked will continue to mock me until I write something either witty, self-deprecating, or scandalously filled with hubris, I present:

I am the only person in the world with my real-life name, even if you don't account for my middle name. I'm not sure how often this happens (probably a lot for people with relatively new surnames), but I still think that's pretty nifty due to a heavy sense of narcissism.

I've learned that tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic, but that sarcasm should not be exercised by the excessively young.

One of the best words of advice I've ever heard is "don't feed the trolls."

I think that anyone who willingly consumes margarine or thinks that margarine is a good substitute for butter is an idiot.
And... I love learning almost more than anything else.

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